Small Towns Podcast
Small Towns Podcast
E37: Randomness…. Complete Randomness…
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Shel Silverstein poems, rice crispies, bad smells….. If there is a more random podcast that we have done, I can’t remember it. This was fun!
Welcome millions upon millions perhaps millions of faithful podcast listeners. We are your hosts, Jason Kimber and Dave Simmons. We'll bring you along with us as we share life stories from our experiences living in small towns, or in Jason's case, an unincorporated community.
SPEAKER_00That's true. Along with genius suggestions for solving world problems and a whole lot less. This is the Small Towns Podcast. Folks, welcome to another episode of Small Towns Podcast. I'm Dave Simmons. Joined as always by my good buddy Jason Kimber. Jason, it feels like it's been a while, doesn't it?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's been a long time since we've been in the studio. Um I know we kind of have been uh settling into a schedule of of kind of a release once every uh two weeks, but it but you know we'll record three or four at a time, and it just feels like it's been a while since I've set across the table from you.
SPEAKER_00It absolutely does. Good to be back. And you know what the first thing I saw when I walked into your little studio here? What's that, buddy? This book Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shell Silverstein. Anybody our age, do you think it's only our age? Like our generation?
SPEAKER_01You know, for sure our generation knows exactly when you say Shell Silverstein.
SPEAKER_00Or where the sidewalk ends.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Some people might forget it was Shell Silverstein, but where the sidewalk ends, to me, there's there's something about that when it was elementary school, but he's got other books, like you got one there, uh A Light in the Attic.
SPEAKER_01A Light in the Attic, where the sidewalk ends, falling up. Interestingly enough, and and I'm gonna s uh speak of something that I do not know much of, but I want to say in the news just recently, uh Shell, I like we're best friends. Yeah, first. You're gonna go with Shell. Me and Shell.
SPEAKER_00Uh it's an interesting name. Is it more is it Shelly? Shelton? It's just S.A. Shell. Is it short for something? I wonder.
SPEAKER_01I mean, probably should Google that. Google that. But he wrote a book called The Giving Tree. Yeah, that is him. He's always kind of scared me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I didn't know that is not what I expected Shell Silverstein to look like. I don't think I ever looked at the back of the book.
SPEAKER_01He's he looks a little bit like my brother in that he's bald and that he's got a big old bushy beard.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Wow, I've maybe I never read enough to get to the end.
SPEAKER_01But he wrote a book called Uh The Giving Tree, which I think I have that one as well. But for some reason, I want to say that's been on the news or in the paper lately as a might be like a cancel culture type of thing. I'm not sure. It was running into a few. There were there was some what's the word I'm looking for, Dave? Uh osteoporosis. I don't know. Uh some conflict. There were some people who are having some issues with it.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01I can't remember the story, but um I love Shell Silverstein, and I'm gonna tell you Steinerstein.
SPEAKER_00Oh boy. I would say Shell Silverstein.
SPEAKER_01Shell Silverstein?
SPEAKER_00Shell No, I would say Shell Silverstein.
SPEAKER_01I think I've always said Shell Silverstein.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you put me on the spot there. Shell Silverstein.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I before E, except after C, except when it's not.
SPEAKER_00And when two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking. Except when it doesn't. But in that case, it'd be Stein.
SPEAKER_01Steen. I think it's Shell Silverstein. I remember growing up, um K through four, Little Room, Grass Creek Elementary. Just one of the greatest teachers of all time. Her name uh is Carol Warburton.
SPEAKER_00I thought you were gonna say her name escapes me. Greatest teacher of all time, but her name escapes me.
SPEAKER_01No, no. Interestingly fun fact, I had two teachers named Carol Warburton. We'll we'll get into that maybe another time. One was with the E, one was not. Well, I don't believe you. Both out there at in Grouse Creek, the same. Not the same time, though.
SPEAKER_00Still, it can be you're that can't be the case. No, well one was Caroline. What was the name? Carol Warburton. Okay. It's not like you got Joe Smith. No, exactly. Carol Warburton. What is it? Warburton. Warburton.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, but like I think, I mean, they're related, so Oh. Yeah, I mean, so it's gotta be fine. Okay. Yeah, it's gotta be fine. Okay. But the first I was called, she was the my teacher K through four. So again, I I want we're gonna do a podcast where we bring in some of my heroes who are some early educators of mine. That'd be fun. That'd be fun.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it would be fun.
SPEAKER_01And Carol most assuredly is one of those, but I remember every day as we'd get ready to line up to go to lunch. We had lunch at 11:30 sharp. Seems like an early lunch, but it's earlier now.
SPEAKER_00Those kids are coming home like at 10.15. Oh.
SPEAKER_01I listen, I've just barely getting my second breakfast in by 10.15. They're asking for a first at that point. Um, but she would read, as we're getting ready, she would read, she'd open up a book and she'd read um two or three poems uh by Shell Silverstein. And I just, because of that, I mean I've read every book, I assume every book that he's written. Love them. Have you got a favorite? I mean, we've got a lot of things.
SPEAKER_00Well, where the sidewalk ends. Where the sidewalk ends is good stuff. So I just thumbed through it. Here you go. I'm gonna start this this pod. Well, we're probably five minutes in, but with uh Rudy Felch. Rudy Felch knows how to belch better than anyone ever did. Margot says that Rudy Felch is a vulgar, nasty kid. Someday he will go to hell or gel or Canada. But now, every night I pray that first Rudy Felch will show me how. I know. Look, if you're gonna get it's either gonna be it's either gonna be hell or jail or Canada.
SPEAKER_01Listen, I got some of my best people are from Canada.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I got a good buddy up in Canada. He wants to be on the pod. In fact, he's a little bothered that you're in what he thinks is his seat.
SPEAKER_01Fair enough.
SPEAKER_00He thought that it should be me and him doing a pod.
SPEAKER_01Well, he's gonna have to Indian leg wrestle me for that.
SPEAKER_00He's fast.
SPEAKER_01Okay, we're gonna be a good one. He's strong. I don't even why would I throw out a challenge like that? I don't I don't know. I'm so sorry.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. He's a vet. Old uh Mitch Oviat up there. Hey buddy. Um he's probably shoulder deep in a in in a cow of some kind. Yeah. He's a vet? He's a vet.
SPEAKER_01Oh man.
SPEAKER_00He's told me stories. I think you gotta wear a suit to do that. Like like a big rubber suit. I think, or at least a glove that goes to the shoulder. Yeah, it's just gotta be a long glove. A long glove. Those, yeah, I don't that's a whole pot on its own, I think.
SPEAKER_01That's funny that you would say that. I actually got a text this last week um from two of my dearest friends from college, and I'm for sure I'm dropping names. Yeah. Because there are stories for these guys that just go on and on and on. Ben Riley, Jim Stevenson. Um Ben lives in uh Salt Lake. Both of these guys are very successful individuals. Ben's a business guy. Jim is a dentist in Holden, Utah. Huh. Holden is not much bigger than Grouse Craig, but it is for sure bigger. Most places are. But I uh I got a text from both of those guys this week that said, love the podcast. Thank you, appreciate the shout-out. Um, but they were super upset that they haven't been asked to be guests on it yet.
SPEAKER_00And they've they've got so many stories to say. And we got some of that. I mean, there's definitely people out there that are just itching to be on this pod.
SPEAKER_01I mean Jim and I we spent uh we were roommates for a summer in Washington, D.C. Uh I was an intern for Senator Orren Hatch at the time, and he just worked for Senator Hatch as a full-time employee. And uh oh my goodness, buddy, the stories that we could tell. I mean, talk about a small town kid going to the big city.
SPEAKER_00Uh well, the fact that both of you were there.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, it was well, yeah, it was crazy. I mean, it was it was awesome, but just one of my dearest friends, so we had a lot of fun. But um, I feel like I I feel like this podcast could be one of tangents, which most of ours are are. But Carol would read these books, you know, where the sidewalk ends and a light in the attic. Let me tell you one that I like a lot, buddy. Do you care if I just share that with Carol? Please, please do. Um it's the prayer of the selfish child. Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my toys to break, so none of the other kids can use them. Amen. That's great. That's fantastic. It's a prayer of a selfish kid. I th I just turned to this one. This was funny. It's called the Anteater. A genuine anteater, the pet man told my dad. Turned out it was an anteater. And now my uncle's mad.
SPEAKER_00I knew that was coming. That's funny. That is really good stuff. That's funny stuff. Fun fact: Holden is a town in Millard County, Utah. The population was 378 in the 2010 census. Population in 2019, 514.
SPEAKER_01Well, what do we what do we have out in grouse? Uh, I'm gonna always stick with my solid answer of 100, and I am rounding up.
SPEAKER_00Do you want me to double check? You want me to fact-check that?
SPEAKER_01Fact-check that. I don't know if there's gonna be more really like current information or statistics to be had.
SPEAKER_00Well, we're gonna figure it out. I mean, we're not messing around here on the Small Towns podcast. Like, there's not enough people to even put it on there.
SPEAKER_01I mean, uh, I uh I I think I'm gonna take a stab in the dark, and I would love, I would love it if somebody from Grouse Creek who knows these numbers to maybe put it on our Facebook.
SPEAKER_00They're not even yeah, they're not even putting it on here. It says I think like 88. Settled in 1876. The community lies along unpaved roads north of State Route 30 in the Grouse Creek Mountains. Its elevation well, you don't care about that.
SPEAKER_01That's a mile high city, roughly. Um you know what's interesting? Uh when you said earlier that you got a buddy, what's his name? That's the vet, what's his name?
SPEAKER_00Mitch Oviat.
SPEAKER_01Mitch Oviat. Um when I was a kid, I like I really wanted to be a cowboy. You did? Yeah, I did. I mean, and it was interesting because we were obviously I was raised in about as rural settings you're gonna get. My dad was raised on a ranch, but he would always say that uh he liked horsepower in the form of a motorcycle or an engine.
SPEAKER_00So what stopped you? Um Spurs, probably. Don't squat with your spurs, huh? Yeah, no, you don't want to do that, and you can't find shafts to fit that size.
SPEAKER_01Oh, oh come on!
SPEAKER_00I mean you're yeah you're six. Listen. What are you six five?
SPEAKER_01I'm six five six four soaking wet. Oh, wait, wait a minute.
SPEAKER_00You gotta be six five two hundred and sixty.
SPEAKER_01Uh, that's about it. That's pretty it. And I'm not gonna lie to you, the sixty hertz.
SPEAKER_00You know what? That's laborious for a horse to carry a guy around like that. I had a big horse. Okay. It's not like you're riding a Shetland pony around.
SPEAKER_01No, but speaking of a Shetland pony, I think. Did you have a horse? I did have a horse.
SPEAKER_00What was his name?
SPEAKER_01His name was Paint.
SPEAKER_00You could have.
SPEAKER_01But the funny thing is, my dad named him Paint. He wasn't a paint. I think. What was he, a quarter horse? Well, I'm just waiting for the fact that to come on here. I want to say he was a sorrel horse. Arabian? A sorrel horse. No, that's a sort of thing. I'm just throwing out anything I can think of.
SPEAKER_00Arabian. That's also expensive. The Black Stallion was my favorite show as a kid. Really? I thought everybody rode horses bareback in a breech cloth. Well. That's all I want to do. And I want to hold on to his mane. And I don't want reins. I don't want any of that. That's that's wussy butt riding.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, buddy, I'm gonna tell you, we would not you would not last five seconds on the back of a horse in a loincloth, holding it on just by the mane. I mean, you know, I I don't see that happening for you, brother.
SPEAKER_00Is it be do you want to dive deeper into that? I mean uh what if I wore some supportive undergarments? What I mean.
SPEAKER_01I don't know how that's gonna make you stay on the horse any better. Well, I got I got a really strong core. Do you? So you're gonna have to have one. I'm gonna show you. My first um my what? Yes. We're gonna start filming this. I remember we talked about that. I don't know, geez. We should put on the old YouTube. Um, but when I was a kid, I actually did uh well it wasn't my pony, it was my aunt Sharon's pony.
SPEAKER_00It was your little pony, right?
SPEAKER_01Well, it was it was a Shetland pony. Tiny.
SPEAKER_00My little pony.
SPEAKER_01I don't have any of my little ponies. I think if you're a guy and you have a little pony, I think they're those are called bronies. Oh.
SPEAKER_00And I didn't have one. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I don't know that either, but that's but I did like to ride Bo, the Shetland pony. Bo was blind, and he had these his hooves just grew right up and they curled right up back and touched his like his calf, if you will.
SPEAKER_00Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and because you just couldn't, he was too old and honre, and you couldn't trim those things. So we just rode him as he was, riding bareback. But I remember one time I had Sharon. This was back in Macaubox.
SPEAKER_00This is striking me as so funny. I can see you in my mind's eye, and it's beautiful. I can see your feet basically helping. What's the horse's name again? Bo. You're you're if you're riding a Shetland. Well, yeah, but this was when I was like seven. I've seen pictures of you as a little guy. You had a mustache at 12. There's no way you weren't your feet weren't on the ground riding bow. And I can see him just kind of like hot stepping around because his toenails are killing him. You've got to get some clippers.
SPEAKER_01I tell you what, we tried to one time. He was too honored. He was too honored he would do it, but he was a good kid's horse, you know what I mean? So I remember bows walking around.
SPEAKER_00I get these stinking kids off my back.
SPEAKER_01My toes are killing me. He's like, one more, one more kick in the ribs, and I'm throwing this kid. Gone. Well, Sharon uh saddled him up one time, and I was she was leading him because I've a little, I was a little buddy, I had no business riding a horse.
SPEAKER_00Even if it was a mini horse.
SPEAKER_01Uh yeah, even if it was a Shetland. I mean, and I had been begging, I'm like, Sharon, please let me hold the reins, let me hold the reins, and she'd be like, no, Jason, you can't. I mean, I'm sure it's because I wasn't old enough to do such things, and she wanted to keep in control. Well, finally, she relented, which was a mistake. She quickly regretted. And she gave me the reins. Now, again, we're gonna need to be fact-checked on these on these things because I don't know all the proper vernacular, but she gave me the reins for me to hold, and I did for a while, and then apparently, and she just walked by the side of me. I can picture right where we were on our place after grouse. Apparently, probably what five-six minutes into it, I was bored, and so I said out loud to nobody in particular, I'm bored, and I threw the reins down. I just threw them down. Bo proceeded to step on the reins, which proceeded to break the reins.
SPEAKER_00Now what?
SPEAKER_01I well, now Sharon is like, get off that horse.
SPEAKER_00She's so nice, you've never said that.
SPEAKER_01But but she's like, You're not a cowboy, Jason. I just didn't have it in me, I guess.
SPEAKER_00And you were probably seven?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, maybe even younger.
SPEAKER_00So she broke your heart. I mean, she's like, look, I know your dreams are to become a cowboy. Yeah. And you are no cowboy.
SPEAKER_01She's dream crusher.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, she just stomped right on those little dreams. I mean, she makes a mean rice crispy treat, though. Well, then that saves it. If she you can be the worst person in the world, but if you make you know who makes a really good rice crispy treat? My sweet wife, Susie.
SPEAKER_01Is it is it big is a secret ingredient love or extra butter and extra mark? It's not love. It's not love. It's not love.
SPEAKER_00Susie's been already, she's already told me she doesn't cook with love. She cooks to get it done. Oh. Which I think probably 90% of the moms out there do. Just knock it out. I mean, when I got home today, she was making sloppy joes, and I think they're disgusting.
SPEAKER_01Are you kidding me? Well, the way she does it. Okay, let's talk about this for a minute. Sloppy Joes, because let me tell you what really upsets me. There are some people, I will not name names. I mean, maybe I will, we'll see. They call, they they say, hey, we're gonna have uh sloppy joes, and then I get there and it's barbecue beef, or they say, hey, we're having barbecue beef and it's gonna end up being sloppy joes. They're not one and the same.
SPEAKER_00Well, then let me tell you what this is, and you tell me if Okay and and I apologize to all those in the Jardine family. Okay because I think that this goes back a couple generations.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's hard to do that.
SPEAKER_00Because I think Grandma Jardine was making kind of I'm air quote sloppy joes, because I don't know if they are. Okay, well. There's hamburger in there, yes, and chicken gumbo soup.
SPEAKER_01Sorry, folks, I was drinking. I know that right, that's not I that's not a sloppy joe. I don't even know, but that's not I I don't know what that is.
SPEAKER_00Nobody does. But I when we first got married and she started making those, I'm like, well, that's oh, and there's mustard in there too, I think. I think that's mixed into the chicken gumbo and the and the burger. I mean, I'm gonna try it for sure. I mean, if I myself don't forget. I'm not not gonna st I'll eat it if I'm starving, you know. Well, like if I I'm I'm talking actually starving. Like literally starving like it's been like I'm gonna perish.
SPEAKER_01Faint. You're like you're you're gant with hunker.
SPEAKER_00Gant or gaunt?
SPEAKER_01Gaunt oh oof, probably gaunt. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I don't know what it is. Uh let's just say I'm that hungry. I would eat one.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00But I usually just say, before you put the gumbo in it, pull some hamburger out, and I'll just make a hamburger out of it. But well, see, the thing to me, a sloppy joe is just hamburger.
SPEAKER_01It's just it's like if you want to be uh uh not homemade, you just buy a can of man witch.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And you dump that in a crumbled hammer. Is that tomatoes? And I think it's like a little bit maybe a tomato type of base. It's delicious. I love man, I love sloppy joes that are just hamburger, like just crumpled up hamburger, and then like the sauce.
SPEAKER_00I'd rather just have a hamburger. Just give me the burger. Well, I've just mix all that other stuff in.
SPEAKER_01Well, like it's apples and oranges though, brother.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_01But I do love the gumbo is throwing me just there.
SPEAKER_00That's people mixing in weird things and things. It's like making cereal with Kool-Aid. To me, it's it's not right. Right? You think that's too far of a stretch?
SPEAKER_01Well, what are you talking? Oh, are you just making that up? Or do you know somebody that makes couple of things? No, I'm just making that up. I'm just saying it's. That's ridiculous because I was like, whoa, you lost me.
SPEAKER_00No, no, who would do that? This is that's how I feel with the gumbo.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Gumbo, uh, I just don't get it. Gumbo and uh and Sloppy Joe's, they're like opposite ends. I mean, there could not be a more dichotomous situation.
SPEAKER_00No, but that's a long way of saying that she doesn't cook with love, but she's genius when it comes to those rice krispie treats. I don't know how she does it, but they stay soft for well, however long it takes to eat them, which doesn't take long. But even if they're there the next day, they're still soft.
SPEAKER_01Still soft. That actually is a gift.
SPEAKER_00It is a gift. Uh and I think that's a reason to marry a woman just for that.
SPEAKER_01Just for the I do love a good Rice Krispie treat. And I'm a purist. I I prefer if you don't put like MMs in there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't need it.
SPEAKER_01I just need a plain, I mean, I need an ample supply of marshmallow, ample supply of butter, and then just the right amount, I guess, of Rasc Krispie.
SPEAKER_00Well, I I think that therein lies the key as far as the how you keep it soft. Susie has told me one time, but I always forget. Because quite frankly, I'm not gonna be the one to make it.
SPEAKER_01No, I I don't see you. Why do I need to remember a batch of Rasp Krispie? She knows how to do it.
SPEAKER_00Why do I have to remember?
SPEAKER_01Heather makes a good Rasp Krispie treat, too. Really? But she doesn't like um, she she doesn't measure anything, which I love to cook. And and so I do a lot of the cooking, but like, for instance, she was helping our girl, uh, our youngest Kate cook the other day. And the recipe called for a cup and a half of something. And Heather said, and I was sta it was actually a cup of oil, it seems like that's a lot of oil, but whatever. A cup and a half is something. So Kate fills up the cup, and then she says, and then you can either just grab a half a cup or you can just go ahead and fill that cup halfway full. And I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Nobody is that good, unless you're like Julia Charles or Jacques Papin, big fan of MPS. You can't just be like saying that's about a half a cup.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, I mean it depends on what you're like if you need a certain amount of water to boil some noodles.
SPEAKER_01Well, I mean that doesn't matter. You're fine, right? Right.
SPEAKER_00I think this was oil. Griff was doing something, I can't remember what he was making the other day, but it was three-fourths cup of water, I believe. Yeah, he read it. Now he's a teenage boy. He doesn't he read it as three to four cups of water. Not three-fourths cups. It was three to four.
SPEAKER_01Three to four, roughly. Just roughly three to four cups.
SPEAKER_00You you want to hear about a disgusting one. So you we've had my buddy Ryan Dunkley on the pod before. Well, he one day he decided we we were gonna make um craft macaroni and cheese. Delicious. Which I still like.
SPEAKER_01I do too. I need a box about once a quarter.
SPEAKER_00Me too, but not after 11 o'clock. That sits heavy.
SPEAKER_01It sits way heavy.
SPEAKER_00Especially if you pair it with a party pizza, frozen pizza, after 10 o'clock at night. That's trouble.
SPEAKER_01You pair it with a party pizza. I don't, I mean, you're referring to that party pizza as if it were a fine wine.
SPEAKER_00Well, it's not. It's a uh bad pepperoni, but some reason I like them. The totinos? Yeah. I do love those. Those party, yeah, those they're square now, if you know. Yeah, and I like it because you can cut them easily. Uh it's yeah, it's an easy cut.
SPEAKER_01It is an easy cut, but then I've got these like four very large triangles that I'm trying to eat. You don't cut them triangles.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I just you just cut them into little squares. I didn't mean the. But Jason, um, you got a plate of party pizza and Mc Mac and cheese at eleven at night. Oh no. And if you're over the age of 18, 19, I'll say even a college kid. You probably could get away from that.
SPEAKER_01You can probably still do that.
SPEAKER_00Not now. No. I mean, I am cramped up in my bed, like, what have I done? You're just tied up tighter than a balloon knot. Yeah. Um, actually, you get pretty loose after but, anyways, Dunkley decides he's gonna make us a uh some mac and cheese.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00So now, traditionally, if you follow the recipe, you strain the noodles. Yeah. You then add the milk and the butter and the cheese sauce. Yeah. He put the cheese stuff in the water.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh. Rookie mistake, Dunkley.
SPEAKER_00Read the bo read the back of the fish. There's like four steps, it's not that long. Really not that hard. And I'm eating this going. There's really no m there's really not any flavor on this. No, because it's like he strained it all out. All the water. I don't even think he put butter and and milk in this.
SPEAKER_01Oh man, that's I that's a rookie mistake.
SPEAKER_00I well, at least we were kids. I mean, Griff thought it was three to four and it was just three strings.
SPEAKER_01Wait wait, I was uh let's see, when when was this? A little while ago, but um doing some cooking with my oldest Kennedy, and the recipe called for one and one quarter cup, and she read that as 11 cups. That's a lot of cups. Yeah. And I said, oh no, it's actually one and one quarter cup.
SPEAKER_00I mean, if you don't read it right, you're gonna come up with a lot of food or not enough food. My sister Heidi, this was years ago. She was they were, I don't know, they were married. So I would think you should be old enough to know this. To read a recipe, sure. But she was making some cheesecakes. Okay. She ended up making poor poor thing. I think she made double digits of cheesecake when she was trying to make like a couple. Because she had so much stuff she didn't read the thing that.
SPEAKER_01And if you if you're not I g what I'm envisioning is that maybe she put in like, I don't know, it was one cup of flour, but she actually put in two cups. She's like, oh now I gotta double the recipe.
SPEAKER_00Something went awry, and she ended up with a lot of cheesecake. Good for all of us, though.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, as long as it turned out, which is impressive. I I remember coming home from school one time, and my this would be my great uncle, my great uncle Winfred.
SPEAKER_00Winfred?
SPEAKER_01Winfred, yeah. That's a unique older name.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, Winfred, and then the female version, probably Winifred. Winnifred, yeah. I've never heard of a Winfred. Oh, really?
SPEAKER_01Uncle Winfred. He was fantastic.
SPEAKER_00Sounds great.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, listen, one of the one of the great, great, great men of that generation, the greatest generation. And he was, yeah, for sure. Um, but he would always like bring like food, like something out of the freezer and give it to my mom. And I was like, hey, here's this. And here's a roast, here's a package of hamburger, be very generous, you know, when we're growing up. And uh I remember one time I came in from uh from the school, walked down the lane from the school bus, and I opened up the door of the trailer, and I was greeted by the stinkiest stink I have ever to this day smelled in my life. And buddy, I'm 44 years old.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and you've smelled some stuff.
SPEAKER_01I smelled some stuff. I have smelled some stuff. She's cooking some mutton, which is basically old lamb. Is that what it is? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Mutton is refer is referencing an older sheep.
SPEAKER_01Yes, because I like a lamb chop.
SPEAKER_00It's delicious. Put a little mint jelly on that sucker. So m I knew mutton was a was sheep, but I just thought it was. But it's old. Oh. Gotta be old. What's a what's a young sheep called?
SPEAKER_01It's called a lamb chop.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so is there an age?
SPEAKER_01Like, I mean what's fair.
SPEAKER_00When do you turn to mutton?
SPEAKER_01I mean, I think you basically you see them out, you know, frolicking in the in the meadow, and you're like, ugh, she got maybe one or two more years of lamb in her, and then she's straight on the I'm a shepherd, I should know this.
SPEAKER_00You should know this. I think when they stop frolicking, they've probably turned to mutton.
SPEAKER_01They kind of cross the threshold of lamb to mutton. But it's not like we refer to them as muttons. I know. That's a yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00You don't I don't ever drive by sheep and say, look at all those muttons out there.
SPEAKER_01Look at all those stinky muttons out there.
SPEAKER_00It was so the mutton itself stunk, or was it just rotten?
SPEAKER_01No, no, just I if I would say, I would say to you, if you were to cook mutton right now, just go buy some mutton wherever you get it, it will stink.
SPEAKER_00Can you just go to buy mutton right now? I bet at a butcher you could. Because maybe it wasn't it wasn't ever an old lamb. Maybe it it was just a fine perky lamb, and then they let it age after it's already been harvested. No, I don't think that's the truth.
SPEAKER_01I don't think that's a good thing.
SPEAKER_00It actually is an old lamb walking around, old sheep walking around. It's on her last leg, basically blind, like Bo the horse.
SPEAKER_01Bo the shell of bone.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, walking around, and when you see the sheep bonk into a tree or a post because he's blind, yeah, you're like, that's a mutton.
SPEAKER_01And you think to yourself, you know what? I think I'm gonna eat that.
SPEAKER_00He looks old and decrepit. Like, who eats mutton? I know people do. I mean, I know people do. I I've I can say right now, I've never had mutton.
SPEAKER_01No, you would know. Did you eat mutton? So did you eat it? No, I did not eat it.
SPEAKER_00Couldn't get past the smell.
SPEAKER_01And she and it was tough, you know, so she'd been cooking it all day.
SPEAKER_00Well, you gotta cook that down. You gotta put that in a slow cooker.
SPEAKER_01I don't think there's enough ketchup or Heinz 57 in the world to put on that. I don't want mutton. No, that's so nasty. But it is interesting, that dream of being a cowboy. I I've been watching a show. I'm always a little nervous. I don't want people judging me for my TV viewing habits, because I watch a lot of it.
SPEAKER_00A lot. I watch a lot of it.
SPEAKER_01There's a lot of programs I gotta watch, but I've been watching this one called Yellowstone. I've heard good things. Yeah, it's it's a wet it's like a it's like a modern day western. I've heard the language is coarse. It can be a little coarse, and also like um I was kind of expecting Kevin Costner's the kind of the star of it. I'm kind of expecting him to be kind of a and he is kind of a grizzled old ranch guy, but he's got a kind of a tender heart. I mean he's pretty mean. He's pretty mean. Just gruff. Just gruff, and I'm like, does that kind of things happen do those types of things happen? What's his name on the program? His name is John Dutton.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I yeah, I think you can have a mean John.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Hey, because names sometimes to me, a name says a lot about a guy.
SPEAKER_01Well, you could it could. Yeah. My chair's making some weird noises. Well, you've got the most comfy chair in the room. No, I'm in a recliner here. Can you hear that on the on the pod? Um the acoustics in this room are akin to the tabernacle. Let's be aware of it. Oh, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_00We should probably sing. Hey, so you mentioned stinky. What's the stinkiest thing you've ever smelled? I mean, can you go back? Was it the mutton? No.
SPEAKER_01That's such an unfair question to ask me, right?
SPEAKER_00Because there's some stuff.
SPEAKER_01There's some stuff. There's some stuff. Um, I mean, mutton's gonna be right up there, but uh, you know, when you're in high school, I think we even did an episode about blue darts, didn't we?
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah. And you did one driving a car.
SPEAKER_01I did one driving a car. That is not and it was wet and rainy outside.
SPEAKER_00Oh, like I'm glad you clarified what was wet and rainy.
SPEAKER_01Outside, yeah, I had been outside, so like my clothes were a little bit wet, my hair was wet, and so when you light that up, there's all sorts of horrible spells and stenches. Okay, I wasn't going there. You weren't? No. We'll tell you a story one time. Um, my one of my best friends, Wade Williams, fun fact, he married my cousin, so now we're family. And Gary.
SPEAKER_00Um we were friends. We were best friends. Used to smell each other's hands for Christmas reference.
SPEAKER_01Beautiful. But yeah, we'll talk about that maybe at another time. But I didn't mean it. Where were you going with that?
SPEAKER_00Um here I got two super stinky. Well, three. I already told the one where I actually puked after working with a huge vat of butter. You wouldn't think butter would be stinky, but that was a lot of butter. Yeah, and I I couldn't handle it. I puked. I was trying, I was working for a guy, uh Reed Ernstrom, great man. Yeah, but he tried to employ me. Apparently, I was unemployable at about 16. You have delicate constitution. I smelled that butter, and I'm like, and I ended up across the parking lot in bushes. That was bad. Well, the chicken soup fiasco of 2017 in uh the Simmons Family Christmas.
SPEAKER_01That was just a little while ago.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. My mom, we had a little family gathering and she had made chicken noodle soup. She made, by the way, a really good chicken noodle soup. Yeah. Well, she kept it in a cooler. Well, like a you know those big cooler things where they have a spout and you can like whole drinks and stuff.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, a liquid cookie.
SPEAKER_00So she put it in that keep it warm. And yes, to keep it warm, but she left it in that overnight, thinking that would be okay. Okay. Oh my goodness. Oh that was one of the stinkiest things. And we had all gone up, we've gone up there to do a family tradition doing uh decorating Christmas or uh what are they? Gingerbread houses. Gingerbread houses. Yeah. And we all got there and we're like, what is that smell? Yeah, it's funny. That's real funny. It was so pungent. It drank. We had to leave. Really? Poor uncle, poor big uncle Jake. He couldn't even be around it. He was he was dry even. Did it ruin the chicken soup for you?
SPEAKER_01For girl, I mean, have you had it since? We've had it since. So the because sometimes when you smell something that you love, it's delicious, but it's gone off. There's some aromatics of the original goodness that do you know what I mean? No, I know what you mean. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Fat COVID has done that to a lot of people. Susie can't peanut butter's no good anymore to her, which is too bad. It is too bad. She doesn't like lettuce anymore. What? Strat doesn't like bread anymore, and he used to eat loaves of this stuff. Anyways, but so that was stinky, and then the other super stinky was we had meat out in the freezer in our in our uh outside garage. In the garage, we have a f old fridge that we use as a freezer and fridge. Yeah. And we didn't know the fuse had blown.
SPEAKER_01Oh no.
SPEAKER_00And so that thing, it was deep in the heart of the summer. Yeah. Oh. And that thing, all of a sudden we're like, what does that smell? And we opened that freezer and it was the worst smell. And it's so hard because you gotta just you gotta just sh you just gotta soldier through that. We and we did, but I we had to take turns dry heaven and tying stuff around our face just to go in there.
SPEAKER_01It might have been 2017 as well. It's funny, it might have been the year of the stank. Um sticky year. I was so sick. We're talking about getting around Christmas. I was so sick that year, and Heather and I, we've talked about this before, but we love to brine a turkey. So we brine the turkey, but this brine that we make, um Alan Brown's recipe, big pungent, though. Pungent, very pungent, and I happened to be just super sick when the night before, but I still wanted to obviously continue on to the Christmas festivities, and I took one whiff of that, and I I it took all that I had not to just spew. And so she had to, even to this day, I've done it the last couple of times, but like I struggle because the smell of that reminds me of how awful I was feeling like smells a powerful thing.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely is. I hope our listeners are listening with their families or kids or whatever, and they're thinking now they can share stories of the stinkiest things that they ever smelled. Yeah, that's what I don't know. I'm sure in this Shell Silverstein book there's talks talking about the stinky things of life. Speaking of names, real quick, and then we can wrap this pot up. Shell is a name you don't hear. Particularly for a guy. Yes. You hear Shelly, Sheldon, Sheldon Shelton, yeah. But you don't hear that. There are other names out there that I think have probably just lost their mojo. Like you don't I have a cousin who named his baby David, but you don't you don't hear that very often anymore. It's like a 1970s name.
SPEAKER_01I would say the same for Jason. You don't you don't hear a lot of no-baby named Jason? I mean, I bet he'd be cute, is all good at it.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah, just adorable.
SPEAKER_01It's just adorable. Totes adorable.
SPEAKER_00Tote's adorable.
SPEAKER_01Um but yeah, and I do think that names definitely go through uh just uh time periods. Oh yeah. You you go you go in Michael Winfred, that's an older name. I don't know any baby Winfreds.
SPEAKER_00No, but that'd be awesome. That'd be cool. Uh what are your grandparents' names?
SPEAKER_01Um that's funny you should say it because my granny, it's my dad's mom, her name was Wilda.
SPEAKER_00Wilda. You don't hear of a baby name Wilda in it?
SPEAKER_01W-I-L-D-A. I mean, but how's that? I mean, what's that all about? My grandpa's name was Ray, which was, you know, again, but I'd say that's an over one. You don't hear that. Yeah, you don't hear of a baby name Ray. On my mom's side, I find it very I well, two things. My grandpa, his name was Afton Don. Middle name Don. He didn't like it. First name Afton. Afton, yeah, he didn't like it.
SPEAKER_00Because that's usually a female name, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01Particularly even in that day and age, it was for sure more of a female name, but you don't hear it at all anymore. No. So so he actually went by AD. He went his name by AD's initials. My grandmother, who was from Belgium, she had seven names. She was born Catholic, and so she was like named after like all of her godmothers and godfathers. It was like Annie, Fernand, Francois, Lucien. I had them once and I've got them written down, but I find it very ironic that then she married my grandpa, and then her name became Anne Nye. She's got just like eight names and then Anne Nye.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, easy. She's probably she probably appreciated it. She's like, this is way easier. She's got a little bit tougher. Yeah, you don't sign that. That's very difficult. That's tough. That's tough. In fact, that reminds me of Griffin just got his driver's license. And you know how you have to sign it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Signature on it. Sure, it's important. I look down and he's passed it in and everything. He wrote Griffin S. That's it. Not a signature. Just Griffin S. That'll do. Fair enough. That will do. Fair enough. Well, I like the name, I think after the 40s, yeah. The name Adolph just probably hasn't been used.
SPEAKER_01No, probably not a lot.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't think that there's a plan. It still seems too soon. Seems a little too soon. Maybe Adolph, you're not gonna name that.
SPEAKER_01It's not cooch kooch kooch.
SPEAKER_00You don't see that. Hey, boom!
SPEAKER_01Adolf. Well, let's see, uh being in Utah as we are, and I've got to be I'm gonna tread very lightly here, Dave. And then we're gonna wrap up.
SPEAKER_00You probably should tread lightly. So I'm not even gonna say that. We don't want to make fun of people.
SPEAKER_01No, but kinda. Utah has some unique things. For instance, if um you're spelling names that really should be an I and you're using a Y, or vice versa, whatever the case may be, or you're taking two names and you're just mushing them together.
SPEAKER_00Like we can't decide between this one and this one, so we're gonna just put them together and and put different letters in there.
SPEAKER_01And if you're spelling, like I like this name, so I'm not I'm not making fun, but like if you've got a name that's like um well, actually now I gotta say it, but if your name is like Oakley and you spell it O A K L E I G H apostrophe T, blah blah blah. You know, there's a lot of extra, like, can I buy a vowel? Like there's a lot of extra consonants and vowels in that name.
SPEAKER_00I guess people are just trying to make them somewhat unique. Yeah, there's uh makes it tough on people to spell them, though. Don't all I can say is if that's what you've done, yeah, don't be upset if people mispronounce it. Exactly, or misspell it. Yeah, it's on you.
SPEAKER_01That's on you. And and listen, we none of us can choose our last name, so so that's fine. You know, sometimes last Simmons and Kimber are pretty straightforward, pretty easy to spell. But um, don't pick a first name that is challenging to spell, or that if you were to I my rule is this if I'm gonna write my name down on a three by five card and hand it to a complete stranger, they need to be able to read it at a at a glance.
SPEAKER_00I agree, but sometimes people still struggle. Our oldest is Maya, M-A-Y-A. That looks like it sounds but people still say maya. Oh, really? Yeah, and I don't know why. And then, but I we thought we'd do all the different things. You'd M-I-A is Mia in my mind.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00Um, I guess you could have gone M Y A, but to me that's not a full name.
SPEAKER_01No, it almost feels like three letters just jumbled together.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, forgot a letter in there, so but I I mean, but my grandparents were Stratford, okay, which is a very cool name. Yeah, but actually, some people might not realize it was Byron Stratford, but he always went by Stratford. I would have chose Stratford too. Yeah, that's very cool. Um, which is why we named our son Stratford. Yeah. Um, and then his wife, my grandma loosely, was Kathleen. Okay, which is a beautiful and that's a name that is timeless.
SPEAKER_01It is timeless, it's like a traditional but still you don't I don't feel like you hear a lot of baby Kathleen. No.
SPEAKER_00But still maybe they maybe there are Kathleen's and they just call them well, you don't hear Kathes either. No. I don't know. Um Grandma, Grandma Simmons is just the sweetest lady there ever is, and she is, I believe, 93 now. Her name is Greta. That's an older name. It is, but that one is a throwback that you could use now, and it's just cute. Cute for me. Yeah, because I've heard of baby Greta. That's a cute name for her.
SPEAKER_01And it's fun when they kind of start to make it become more popular again. Yeah, I like that. Wilda, that's not happening.
SPEAKER_00No, Wilda's probably not coming back anytime. And grandpa was Dale. So you don't hear a lot of Dale's baby Dale.
SPEAKER_01No, baby Dale. I've heard Jenny. I think it was her.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah? Yeah. That's Jenny, that's Jenny Dale.
SPEAKER_01D-A-L-E. I or is there a Y? D-L D-A-L-E. I think she's named after like family that was maybe D-A-Y-L, but then they spelled it D D. Can't remember.
SPEAKER_00There's a story though. She's told us and we're just not remembering.
SPEAKER_01Um, can I share a like I I'm kind of making fun, but I I do it in just in from a good place. Okay. With love. With love. Hashtag with love. Um uh Kate, my youngest, she's had her ninth birthday last Saturday.
SPEAKER_00Happy birthday, baby Kate. Yeah. She's always gonna be baby Kate, too. Baby Kate.
SPEAKER_01Some of the called my little BK broiler. Ooh, I could go for a burger right now. Ooh, maybe we'll have a steak afterwards. Don't tease. Yeah, don't tease me. Um, and my job was to uh get a birthday cake. Now, this is another funny side story. With our very first, I remember staying up the night before her first birthday, Kennedy, and I I made a cake and it was in the shape of a teddy bear, and then it fell, and so like I was down at Macy's when it was open 24 hours, buying a new cake mix. Like, I made four iterations of this cake because I thought I needed to. Now I just go buy them at Macy's or make them in a sheet pan.
SPEAKER_00I'm not gonna lie to you, I like them better.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00I like a Betty Crocker cake as well as anything. They're delicious. I know, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, I went down and uh the day before, local grocery store, and I just said, Oh, this can you make this cake? She's like, Yes, for sure. She's like, What would you like to write on it? And so she's got a piece of paper that she's filling out to make the cake tonight and pick it up tomorrow. And I said, just uh happy birthday, Kate. Now I'm gonna give a little bit of leeway there. Kate can be spelled with a C. Again, maybe maybe a Utah iteration is a K-A-I-T.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01Okay, a couple different things, but and I I would have been okay correcting one of those things. And so she's like, happy, and she's writing happy birthday, and then she writes the letters K A T. Well, that's that's cat.
SPEAKER_00And not even spelled correctly.
SPEAKER_01Not even spelled correctly. And she stops and I said, um it's actually it's uh there's an E. It's Kate with an E. Like, well, how else would there be? And she's like Kate with a K-A-T-E. And blessing her, she's like, oh, well, I was close. I'm like, who I mean you weren't close.
SPEAKER_00I was close to finishing it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I can't go ahead and finish the name. Yeah, so I mean I just put a chuckle on my face and uh chuckle in my face, that doesn't make any sense, but anyways, I chuckled about it.
SPEAKER_00I understood it.
SPEAKER_01And then I uh send we have a like a fun family thread going on with my sister-in-law and a few others, and we're talking about it, and my um my nephew-in-law, he married my niece, he's like, yeah, um, give me and he was like, he texted out, give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that kit Kate bar. That works. That's very clever.
SPEAKER_00It is very clever.
SPEAKER_01She's like, it's close. I mean, it's not, it's not close.
SPEAKER_00It's cat. No, I don't know how you can say why it was close trying to spell the name Kate.
SPEAKER_01Wow. Well, all I can say is I hope you like your name. I mean, I didn't like mine growing up.
SPEAKER_00Well, what's in a name, Jason? I don't know. Thanks again, folks, for listening to another episode of the Small Towns Podcast. We're pretty sure we've changed your life for the better. If not, well, we'll try again next time.