Small Towns Podcast
Small Towns Podcast
E33: Merry Christmas!
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Welcome millions upon millions, perhaps billions, of faithful podcast listeners. We are your hosts, Jason Kimber and Dave Simmons. We'll bring you along with us as we share life stories from our experiences living in small towns, or in Jason's case, an unincorporated community.
SPEAKER_01That's true. Along with genius suggestions for solving world problems and a whole lot of last. This is the Small Towns Podcast.
SPEAKER_00Well, hello folks. Jason Kimber, Dave Simmons with me as always. Um it's time for another pod, buddy. Let's drop this pod. Drop it, lay it, no, lay it, drop it. That's how it happens. Drop it, lay it. No, lay it and then drop it. We lay it, we then drop it. Exactly. I think that's probably what fit in the category of cool things that kids say these days. Guaranteed. By the way, I've been getting called bruh in my house. Like is that B-R-A-H. B-R-H. Bruh. Yeah, bruh. What does that mean? And and I it's like bruh? Bru, but bruh? Yeah. Feels kind of the lazy version of bruh. It really does. Bro is a is is a is shortening it up from brother.
SPEAKER_01It sure is. All I know is I got a I got a 15-year-old. He's like, nah, bruh. I'm like, okay, first of all, I'm your dad. Yeah. You don't you can't call me bruh. Bruh. Yeah. And what in the world does that even mean? I mean, I know what it means. I know what it means. Come on.
SPEAKER_00And and we're we're getting a little bit laser.
SPEAKER_01Pretty soon it's just gonna be uh b but I got a buddy that he's to the point where he doesn't even want to say happy birthday on your birthday. Yeah. This last one was just birth. Oh, really? Yeah, he can't say happy birthday. He can't even say birthday, it's now birth. So his birthday is tomorrow. You know what I'm sending him? Just the letter B. And it's gonna be lower caps. For sure. If he's gonna go just birth, I'm going just with a B.
SPEAKER_00And then next year, there's probably nothing. I I tell you, it's it's interesting. We've I think we've even talked about this before on a different different episode, but we're getting so lazy in in this maybe texting world that we live in. I received a birthday wish, speaking of, uh, that was just the letters all caps, H B D, the number two, and then you. Happy birthday to you.
SPEAKER_01It's like the old yearbooks. Remember when I used to sign yearbooks? You're too cool with the number two. Too cool to be for Gotham. Yeah. Don't put her too hard. Save some of the girls for the rest of us. We we're gonna kill this year.
SPEAKER_00Stay cool, stay cute. Have a great summer. Let's stay in touch. Yeah. We gotta do, we'll do a podcast about high school, and maybe we can crack open some yearbooks. Old yearbooks?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, there's we don't want to go down that because there's a lot of good stuff, but we're gonna we gotta do that. We could do some.
SPEAKER_00Speaking of birthdays, Dave, guess whose birthday's coming up on Saturday? Baby Jesus. As segues go, that has to be one of the best ones we've ever had.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. Speaking of, I was in St. George this weekend and I'm driving down kind of one of their the main, it's like River Road.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. But there's kind of some cliffs with some houses up over top. Beautiful. And I glance up there, and I'll be darned if there wasn't an enormous inflatable Jesus on the side hill. Well, I don't know if he's inflatable. It could have been like one of those blow mold cutouts. I don't know. But it was it was lit up in the night. But you're you're a ways away, so it had to be big for it. Big and a little disheartening or disc disconcerting. I was like, did I miss something? And then I started thinking a little longer. I mean, if this is for Christmas, shouldn't it be the baby Jesus?
SPEAKER_00You would think so. But I can see you all of a sudden checking your text and maybe all the rest of your friends like us saying, hey, it was great, I was seeing heaven. Hey, it sounded wonderful, so good. I guess we're we're I'm like, no wonder that everything was burning around me.
SPEAKER_01Like I thought it was just hot in St. George's. There's a lot of inflatable stuff around the Christmas times, but I don't know that you should be using an inflatable Jesus.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I actually agree with you. And I'll I'll take it a step further. Uh and obviously I think it's very appropriate that we talk about Christmas. I mean, this is our Christmas party. Are we gonna drop this on Christmas? Uh maybe maybe a little Christmas Eve present. I don't know. Oh, there you go. Maybe this is the one you can open. Merry Christmas from us, ladies and gentlemen. But I don't I don't love um I love decorating for Christmas, and no offense, this is just a personal preference, so don't be upset when I say this. I don't love the inflatable decorations really at all.
SPEAKER_01I well, I don't care. I love looking at everybody else's decorations, but I'm not gonna go put them up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, okay, that's a good way to put it. No, I put lights on the house and uh trees as soon as we get some to grow. And um, I like that. I'll decorate inside the house, but I've just I've never been a big um, you know, the blow-up type of thing. It's just it's a lot of work. It is a lot of work, and I feel like the wind might blow them away. But if you've got like a 10-foot, 12-foot tall Jesus standing. Should be Easter, though, right? I would think so.
SPEAKER_01It feels like an Easter. Unless it was like a huge manger, you know what I mean? And it wasn't. No. No, it was it was the rapture or whatever it is.
SPEAKER_00We're probably speaking of things we know nothing about. We do know nothing about. Now, you I I know that you, and as well as all of our readers know, you do not care for Halloween. Thoughts on Christmas? Are you affiliated? I love it, yeah. Yeah, that's what I want to do.
SPEAKER_01Although, after wrapping uh pretty much wrapping up Christmas purchases last week, I'm kind of done with that. I mean, I don't want to be the only onry old man that's like ornery about buying Christmas presents, but when you start to get teenagers, a lot of our listeners out there are completely understanding what I'm saying right now. I'm sure. That is a tough thing because when they're little, you know, things aren't very expensive. You probably overdo it to where you've set some sort of a precedence of what they're kind of expecting to see on Christmas morning, like visually. But as they get older, those things are more expensive. Yeah. And that what you're gonna see visually as you see Christmas morning is gonna look a little different. And sorry, it's just well, you're making the shift.
SPEAKER_00I assume you're making the shift from quantity to quality. Exactly, is what it is.
SPEAKER_01But hopefully, kids, especially you know, right around that 12, 13, that's in that time where maybe they're expecting one thing and it ends up being being different. I hope my older kids are like, yeah, that sounds about right.
SPEAKER_00Well, you know, when I was having this conversation with Heather just uh earlier in the week, I love Christmas as well. I love I love the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, I really do. But one thing that I miss, I discovered, is that one of my favorite things to do is, you know, the weekend, a couple weekends before Christmas, we would all go in as a family to the Magic Valley Mall, Twin Falls, Idaho. It was the closest mall of any significant size to us, and we do Christmas shopping. And it was like a full day-long event, you know. Sometimes we'd pair it off with mom or with dad and we shop for each other and things of that nature, and it was so much fun, and then you'd go and get like a nasty piece of pizza that was delicious, but it was like the size of my face. Yes. And maybe an orange Julius. I love a good Orange Julius. So good. And the nachos you could get at Orange Julius. So good. But they were kind of hot. Well they were, but that's why you you you chased them with the Julius. Orange Julius, there you go. But I missed that because I did my Christmas shopping this year, and I sat in front of my computer uh with Amazon pulled up, basically, and did most of my Christmas shopping in you know an hour. Felt little I don't want to say the word disingenuous, but it just wasn't as fun, I'll tell you that right now.
SPEAKER_01No, it's not, but it sure is convenient. Yeah, I mean, there's no getting around that. Being able to knock some of that stuff out that quick is pretty nice. And maybe what we ought to do is just go to the mall. Have an order, Julius. And sit there with your phone? Yeah. Order some stuff like that.
SPEAKER_00At least you're uh going to the mall. Yes, yes. I I think it's just that for me, it's kind of a little bit of a nostalgia, and it just brings back the memories of the season. But you know, it's so interesting, Dave, as I think about growing up Christmas, and and we touched on this. I'm a big believer in keeping the magic of Christmas, regardless of your age. I love that, and I think it can still be done. Um but growing up in a small town like Grouse Creek, it wasn't just a family fair, it was more like a community fair, an affair. And so, like on Christmas Eve, we would, as a whole community, as a whole community gather in the basement of the old church, and then after we got the new church, just in the cultural hall of the church. And we would have a huge party, and there would be like dancing with Santa. Santa, of course, would come. Can Santa cut a rug? Oh boy, I tell you what, you better believe he can. I mean, he's jingling jangling all the way around that gym. And and and you know, we do like the Virginia Reel and and mainly just dancing with Santa, but I have no idea what a Virginia Reel is. Are you kidding me? No, should I? Um should I be embarrassed? Well, I mean, I don't think embarrass that's too strong of a word, but it's kind of like it definitely fits into the square dancing of dances. Okay. Okay. You got two lines, girls on this side, guys on this side, bow to your partner. Well, that's a square to square, yeah. But then there's something like a yeah, it's it's similar, but not. Instead of a square, it's more of a long rectangle or two parallel lines.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00Line dancing? No, no, no. I'll I'll look for some. Maybe you have to Google that too. We'll Google that up for you. Um, and then always be a program um where there'd be some of the local talent. Were you ever the local talent? I had a few numbers. Oh, yeah. I had a few numbers. What'd you do? I would either sometimes you would do everything from recite a poem. One time I uh sang uh a song from the Forgotten Carols, The Innkeeper. Oh, just I mean, I think about it. Did you bring tears to people's eyes? I like to think I did. As the tears to their eyes as they were putting cotton balls in their ears. But it was such a different experience. And then, I mean, as a young kid, of course, we'd all then break into like the community would all sing Christmas carols. And you knew it one of those songs, Santa himself was gonna burst through one of the doors, didn't know which one. You just kind of head on a swivel. Yeah, head on a swivel. Because as a little kid, he scared me.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah. I have masculophobia. Yeah, you do. You don't have to tell me that. Somebody walks in like dressed. Well, it was Santa that walked in.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, no surprise there. No, but still, it was a little uncomfortable. A little scary. And then he'd come in, you know, we'd sit on his lap, he'd give us a sack of candy, and then he'd beeline for the door. And of course, as a young kid, and me and my buddies, we're like, we're gonna chase, we're gonna find him, we're gonna see his reindeer, we're gonna see Rudolph, we're gonna see him take off on the sleigh. Turns out he pig he just hopped into his Ford F-150. But we never got that far because all the grown-ups were like bar in the doors, you know. That was smart. Yeah, it was very smart. But I I remember um getting married to Heather, and and we're talking about our first Christmas together, and she's like, Yeah, you know, maybe we could just go up to my parents' house, and my dad usually reads the Christmas story and we have dinner. I'm like, that's it. Snorfest. Bore nowadays that sounds wonderful. 100%, and I am fully on board on that because I think I think Grosswright still does um a party of some sorts. I don't know if they do it on Christmas Eve anymore. I'm gonna have to need some of our listeners to chime in on that. Yeah, um, but it's it's interesting because now I'm all for just kind of the quiet, the family time, and I love it, and it's fantastic. But I I long for and miss those days, and I think it's because of the people that were there. Um it was definitely that could be Santa right now, flying into F-150. Or wait, no, he's got a Cesta out there. He's got a Cesta. You said no, anyways. But what about you? I mean, do you think of Christmas Eve, Christmas morning?
SPEAKER_01We used to always um go down to my cousin's house in Salt Lake, and I remember when we were little, we were my parents had a uh Toyota Corolla, which was a little hatchback. And we we must have been little because we they just drop down those back seats and make beds for us.
SPEAKER_00That's back when seables yeah, and seabots were more of a option.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they were yeah, they weren't frowned upon, but we didn't really think about them as being that important. But the hatchback had a window out the back, and so we would be laying back there and looking up, looking for Santa. Oh, I love Santa. I swear I saw him a couple of times. I'm sure you're I'm pretty sure I did. But I couldn't get confirmation, but I'm pretty sure I did. But those nights were awesome. Um, people in our community might have known my grandpa Stratford loosely. Um, a lot of people do. Um, but he he was a music teacher for for his career. He taught um music at Skyview, vocal. Oh, okay. He was the uh he was the the front porch majority. Have you heard of the front porch majority? I have some of our people will be listening out, they're going, I was part of the front porch majority. Yeah, that was the sing it was the choir at Skyview. Okay, alright. And grandpa led that for directed that for many, many years. He was also the uh he did all the musicals up there. Okay. So pretty prominent man in the Smithfield community, beautiful singing voice. I mean, powerful. Yes, and so for our Christmas Eves, we would always have a little nativity. All the kids would have dress up as either a shepherd or a wise man, and there were definitely more than three wise men, you know. And there was um one of the uncles always had to be the donkey. In fact, that's even going on now. My now that grandpa and grandma have passed and we're down to our my family, my mom and dad and their kids and grandkids, I've been the donkey because.
SPEAKER_00I was gonna say, what role do you absolutely been the Christmas? This year, once again, Dave will be reprising his role as the donkey of Christmas.
SPEAKER_01Bagged by popular demand. But but after the after the nativity, we there would always be a uh talent show of sorts. Well, similar to what you guys were doing. So, and and I came from a very musical, I come from a very musical family. And you do have a beautiful singer. Oh, that's very kind of you. Very good. So everybody would either play the piano or sing or and then at the end, and that would go probably longer than the in-laws wanted it to go, but at the end, everybody would ask grandpa to sing for us, and every year it seemed like he's like, no, no. And then we'd beg a little more, and then he would happen to have his music, and he would sing uh the holy city for us. Oh, that's a beautiful and that's beautiful. I'm telling you, he he was unbelievable. And I think that for me and all my cousins, uh, that are if they're listening to this, I guarantee they're there's a warm spot in all of our hearts for those those Christmas Eve nights where grandpa would sing to us. I love that. Um it was so awesome. And then another thing that I'll always remember is any anybody who had learned a separate language, and in my family it was traditionally because they had served a LDS mission, but well, A you didn't even have to learn a language, but whoever had knew a different language would sing the first verse of Silent Night in that language. Oh beautiful. It was awesome. I mean, we had we had oh boy, German and Finnish and Spanish and and there was even more than that. Um But so when I got called to serve a mission in Bulgaria, the first thing I'd wanted to learn was how to sing Silent Night. I still remember it in the f at least the first verse in that, just in case we ever have to do it again. But that was that's one of those things for me that was I'll never forget. Do you do you still do this? So I mean you do some of those things with the nativity. We do the nativity, um, there's a little bit. There's not as many grandkids as as in my immediate family as the the loosely side hatch. Sure. But um so the uh there's a little bit of uh a talent portion, but not much. Okay. It's mostly just the the nativity, and then grandma or grandpa will will say some words, and that's fine. It's always very nice. And that's on Christmas Eve, and then on Christmas Day we kind of just visit around with um Susie's side, and that's kind of what we do.
SPEAKER_00I love that. Do you uh I mean, i is there anything harder in this world than as a child falling asleep on Christmas Eve?
SPEAKER_01Oh no, that was the worst. And I am a I am a sleeper. You are and e even I, as a kid, was ready to wake up in the morning. Oh, yeah. And you have to give mom and dad's up and why did you not put your slippers by your bed?
SPEAKER_00Why do I have to go looking for these for you? Yeah, because you because we had a rule you couldn't just burst out of the room. You had to wait and gather for us. It was gathered kind of by our wood stove, uh back by our bedrooms. But I remember one year, I don't know how old I was, but I was young, and all of a sudden my brother Wade and I shared a room, and then my sister Lisa had her own room. And Lisa came busting into our room. She's like, wait, Jason, wake up, it's Christmas, it's Christmas. And I mean, I was, I mean, I was ready to go. Yeah. I was ready to go. We bound out of bed, all three of us run to my parents' room, jumping on the bed, Mama, Dad, it's Christmas, it's Christmas. My dad was like, uh. And he he rolled over and looked at this alarm clock, and he's like, It's 2 a.m. Get to bed. And we're like, What? And Lisa had set her alarm clock. For two? No, she thought, I mean, I don't mean to judge her now, but I still hold this against her a little bit. There's a little bit of anger that sleeps, like speaks to my heart. Yeah. She thought it was six, because that was, I think they actually would allow us to give up at five. Somehow, I mean, the five's a long way a ways away from the two. She had set her care bear, I believe it was a care bear uh alarm clock, what she thought was five and it was two, and my parents were not having it. They're like, get to bed. Well, I had to fall asleep twice that Christmas Eve. Oh, that's brutal. Oh, it was painful. I blame the caraber, actually.
SPEAKER_01I you know, I do too. Probably Grumpy Bear. Had the little had the little cloud with the with the raindrops on the front of it, like two o'clock, Joker, Lucas. Did you did you have to pass the Christmas tree and whatever Santa had left to get to mom and dad's room? No. So we did. Oh, but we would like, I'm just shading my eye right here. Yes. Just we didn't want to see it until I mean we did, but we didn't want to see it until everybody was gonna be able to see it. So that was always tricky going up there.
SPEAKER_00Well, see, we yeah, our bedrooms were double-eyed, of course. Uh the three bedrooms were in the back. Okay. Mom and dad's at the very end, and Wade and I's and then Lisa's. And so we would all kind of gather again in the hallway by the stove, and we could look, we could look to the very end of the other end of the trailer, the north end of the trailer, and it was dark, but you could see the glow. The glow. And you're just like, Yeah, because Santa will leave the lights on of the tree, and it's and you knew something magical was happening there, and you just I patience was something that I struggled with, as I think all kids do.
SPEAKER_01My kids have to, if they I maybe they're just looking, I don't know, but they uh they would have to go past it to come up to our room. Because I'm not gonna just wake up. No, that's right. Nowadays they're coming to wake me up. They're coming to get you. I'm the dad now. I'm like, okay, I'll figure it out. Let me brush my teeth. You know, you really drag it out.
SPEAKER_00Wait, did you did your parents make you like eat breakfast or something before? Okay, good. Because those parents are mean. They're mean. Yeah. And if you're one of those parents and you just check yourself. Exactly. Check yourself and maybe open up a present or two. Right.
SPEAKER_01All the kids listening to this right now are like, tell them.
SPEAKER_00Did you ever open anything on Christmas Eve? No. We didn't either, but I know some do.
SPEAKER_01I mean, the only thing's if it was like grandpa or grandma gave us some pajamas. Same, same. We would do that. And that to this day, my we do, like I said, Christmas Eve with my mom and dad, and we are opening presents there.
SPEAKER_00Okay, and that's fun. I mean, that's part of it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but but no, as a as my own little family growing up, we never would open something on Christmas Eve. But I know a lot of people would pick one, you know, or do something like that.
SPEAKER_00I I mean that wouldn't work for me because I'd by that time I had I had hefted and shook every present under the tree. So like I'm for sure to pick the heaviest one, and you know, but it's a bowling ball.
SPEAKER_01And you know what? My kids have kind of started a little tradition of their own over the last it's probably been longer than I realized. But they'll sneak something from each other, like steal it basically, and wrap it. Okay, okay. So, you know, you're you're hey, where's my I don't know, whatever, you know? Where's my whatever? And then they can't find it, and they think they lost it, and then they open it on Christmas morning, they're like, I've been looking for that thing.
SPEAKER_00Really? No, they did they did you put them up to that?
SPEAKER_01Well, I think well, I think it's because they're cheap.
SPEAKER_00Little freeloaders. All of a sudden, yeah, you're you're like, hey Strat, did you get something from Maya? Sure did. No, I did. Got herself her own hairbrush.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and then she wraps up her hairbrush. But those have actually kind of become kind of fun for the kids. It's not, I mean, they're not white elephants, but it's similar. Yeah. You know, that's mine! Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_00Or what would be funnier is if you wrap up something that say griffs and give it to Strat. Yeah, see, I have actually I went to a white elephant party one year and it was a work party, and I remember opening up my it happened, no, actually, no, it wasn't me, but I think Nick was opening up a present, and as he was opening up all these presents, he's reaching into this box and pulling out things. I'm like, wait, that's that's mine. They they just fleeced my office the night before. They gave it to Nick. That's hilarious. That's a good one. That's a good one. Hmm, I think I might do that. We got a white elephant coming up.
SPEAKER_01We really do.
SPEAKER_00I mean, if you see anything gone from your home right now, just don't look at me. Exactly. Um I there's so many, you know, obviously Christmas is the time of traditions, but we would always, one of my favorite ones is we'd always go up and cut our Christmas tree. Typically the weekend, uh, you know, Thanksgiving weekend, like Friday or Saturday after Thanksgiving. And this year, now buddy, you you had the opportunity. I know I did. You had the opportunity. It just doesn't appeal. It doesn't appeal, but uh uh our family and Jenny and Cray and Teresa, we drove up to Idaho, and much like Clark W. Griswold himself, I dug that tree out of the ground. Jason, Kennedy can't fill her the lower half of her body. She'll see it later, Clark. Her eyelids are frozen. But we, I mean, I'm a little bit like Clark W is like I march up and down that hill looking for the perfect tree. Love that. But are you? I think I mean I know the answer, but I'm gonna make you say it. Fake or real? I don't mind a good fake. We have two fakes actually in our house. You do? Yes. One upstairs, one downstairs. Well, there is, I'm not going to judge you as I want to, but I won't. You go ahead. Okay, alright, fair. Um, but I don't really know why I'm so sold on like these real trees because happened again this year. I always get a tree that's too much like Clark. It's not going in our front yard. We're gonna put a tree that large, Kimberly. Not going in our front room, our front yard rust, it's going in our living room. I had uh I had like a 15-footer this year. Put it up two weeks later, like a ghost of Christmas past, that sucker tipped over, busted every ornament. So now I have to I wired it to the wall. Um but it it actually tipped over a couple years ago. When you're having to wire your Christmas tree to the wall, it means it's a spectacular tree. It's real, it is spectacular. I like the fakes. To each their own. I guess to each their own. I cut uh a tree several years ago. I it was on private ground, so uh, because I think this is frowned upon when you're on Forest Service ground. I basically topped it, so I cut like the top 15 feet off of like a 30-foot tree. But when you do that, like it's huge. Like this tree was so big. Yeah. The stump was like enormous. Put it in the house, put it in the stand. This is several years ago. How'd you climb up 15 feet to load the top off? Well, it was actually on a hillside and there's a lot of snow, so it worked out really well. Oh. Yeah. So it worked out well. And I actually seems like it was meant to be. It meant to be. And actually drug most of that tree off the hill. So maybe I didn't really top it too much because it took my brother and I all that we had to get that tree loaded. Then we got down to the house and we had to use my dad's crane on his work truck to. I felt kind of like I was at Rockefeller Center. Yeah. Lifting that thing over to put it into my truck to drive back home here to Logan or Millville. And um Was that down at the other house before you moved? It was yeah, it was down the other house. So it was only a twelve house.
SPEAKER_01How would that fit?
SPEAKER_00It was huge. It was like a little bit of a couple of things. It was Clark's who's taking the whole living room. I put it up, let it warm up, let it relax before we decorate it, went up to Heather's parents for Sunday dinner, came home. Funny, funny um thing happened here is that it actually um it had it had fallen down while we were gone. And um we we came home and I had actually pocketed or Heather pocket dialed her friend Jen. And so all of a sudden we walk in, and then Jen calls like 10 minutes later, and she's like, So uh your tree tipped over. I'm like, how did you know that? I'd pocket dialed, or sheather pocket dialed her, and then I started to swear. I felt bad about it. Not big swears, but like, what the heck, this dang tree falling down? And then, of course, it got hot in our house, and we had carpet in that room, and like pine sap just dripped the full length of that 12-foot tree all into the carpet. I bet the place smelled wonderful for years. But hashtag sorry James and Whitney Ferry, um, there's probably some sticky spots. Wow, they can get that taken care of, no problem. I'd be just fine. You just put a little uh elbow grease on it. But I love cutting the tree. I do, I do. Yeah, it just seems like a lot of work to me. It is.
SPEAKER_01I mean, it's the same principle as don't uh I don't care to go hunt my animals to eat. I'll just go ahead and Macy's and grab some. You know? It's just you gotta after after the you cut it down, that starts the work. Uh well, you're not wrong. You're not right. Actually, before that, it's a lot of work before that, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm just gonna stick with the fakers. Well, you know what, there may be a time, there may be a time when I oh I no, I won't say it. I won't say it. I do have fake trees in my house now because I have those cool like 1960s metal trees. Yeah. Aluminum trees.
SPEAKER_01I mean, they're very they're pretty cool.
SPEAKER_00They're cool. I mean, right out of eBay, they're original. Well, I like to think of them as an investment. Well, they're probably not. I hate to break that to you. I have three of them. You may have a metal tree problem. There goes the kids' college fun. Taking those aluminum trees. Um I I have all these different thoughts in my head. Like um, we would always do out to Grasskrieg, we would do a school play. And again, that we actually just posted a picture on Instagram of my entire school.
SPEAKER_01That's and by the way, folks, that's one of my favorite pictures of Jason. And when you're looking at the picture, I want you to first notice for most of us, that's a class size. And maybe even a smaller class. Yes, that is his entire school. Whole school. And then when you s when they have a little circle going around when Jason had a bit of an accident. So what grade were you? I was in first grade. But my favorite part about that picture is you're got your hand, you're not trying to cover it. Proud. Hands in your pockets, owning it. Facing forward. Yeah, I did. Pete them. Pete him. This is this so? What you gonna do about him? Photographer, pull him in the front one, don't you? Front row? Yeah, what's the photographer thinking? Hey, let's put the kid with the pee in his pants right up front. Hey, could you put your hands in your pockets and kind of puff out your chest? Yeah, that's you know what? In hindsight, maybe it wasn't you.
SPEAKER_00Maybe you were embarrassed, and the guy's like, We're this is gonna be great. Yeah, we'll make him feel better. Like in 30 years or 40 years when he does a podcast, it'll be famous. But take that picture, and that whole school, we would do a Christmas play every year. And so a couple years past that, I was in the fourth grade. One of my favorite ones, it was called, I think it was called A Christmas Wish. Yeah. Tender. It was kind of like an orphanage gonna get foreclosed on, and I think it was the Wentworths came, and and then I sang this beautiful solo. If Wishes Could If Wishes Could it wasn't quite that classy. If Wishes, let's see, these are the first stems. If Wishes Could Grow Upon Trees, if someone would answer my pleas, I'd wish for a mom and a pop of my own brother and sister to tease.
SPEAKER_01Oh, tear Jason. Tear! First of all, great memory. Thank you. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00And just in case you need to reprise that role, you're good to go. Yeah, I'm anytime. Anytime I'm ready to go. Um, my Aunt Sharon happened to be there, uh, which I appreciated the family support. Back in the day, oh, she had a silent film camera, and that would like shoot a beam of light. You're blinded on stage. Much like it, much almost like probably the same light that the North Star would get those wise men on that first Christmas night. And so I'm singing and I'm just squinting, and and we knew that she was going to be doing it, so we're prepared. You know, when you're on the stage, you gotta be prepared for whatever happens. Yeah, you really do. We finish up this the production sold-out performance. I mean, we had the folded chairs in the gym clear of the back. Yeah. We get back there, she's like, Oh, I forgot to put any film in the camera. Oh, and she's gonna be. So that's lost to it's lost. I I may need to reprise it, and I'm gonna have to bring back Wade and Lisa and like Ryan and Marty and some of those guys. Ryan and Marty, I believe, were Mr. and Mrs. Wentworth, so. Hopefully they remember their parts. I bet Ryan would. I would think they would. I would think so too. I don't know how you wouldn't. Well crushed it. That was fourth grade uh fourth, third grade, fourth grade. I'd like to hear that song. I'll see what I can do, but I've actually got the playbill actually in the world. You got a playbill and everything.
SPEAKER_01Not just a little program, it was a whole play bill. Playbill. That's so funny. I love it. I don't remember doing any. I'm sure that we probably did in elementary school do some um plays or something, but uh we did we sang a lot at Providence Elementary. There was a lot of singing going on.
SPEAKER_00If you're singing about like what you had that beautiful rendition a few episodes back, in fact, that was the same episode as the Pee Pants episode. Was it? You talked about the challenger song that you sang.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so we did do some things like that, but apparently it took a national tragedy to make us do a uh a play. But we uh we were always singing something. Providence Elementary.
SPEAKER_00We actually went to um our girls, they had uh Millville Elementary did a little uh uh program.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I was out of town last week, but Ollie was there.
SPEAKER_00Yes, it was so good doing some sort of leading of the program. Yes, they had listen, they had these song leaders, I guess you will, with um with um with the ribbons, and they were just they were just uh Ollie had some energy with that from what I understood.
SPEAKER_01Actually, Susie sent me the video. I'm like, well, the boys got some personality, that's for sure.
SPEAKER_00And all I gotta say is the apple doesn't fall far from the truth. Um one one last thing, and then whatever. I mean, we we can we could go a little bit long on this one, buddy, but um I can't help but think of Christmas. My Aunt Sharon again, the uh the Steven Spielberg of our time. As long as she remembered to put the film in. She would always, she's an amazing chocolatier, like a chocolate maker. Yeah, and so we'd she'd always dip chocolates every year. Um so good, I love them. One year she told uh her younger brother, my uncle Eldon. She says, Oh, he he had he was biting into one, and she's like, This year I'm shaking things up a little bit. I found I could get a much creamier consistency if I used goat's milk. Oh my goodness. She didn't, she didn't, but Eldon, he spit it out and he wouldn't even eat a chocolate that hard. Really?
SPEAKER_01You know, the Bulgarians put um alcohol in their chocolates. Okay, tell me more. Just sauce them up a little bit. You had to be careful. They're like, here, have a chocolate. You're like, what do you got in that thing? Or you don't ask, and it's just a it's just a happy accident. I don't know. Yeah, it's heavy. Um real quick, top three Christmas movies. Um, Christmas Vacation, Four Christmases.
SPEAKER_00Yes. That's so funny. It's one of that's for sure. Those are my top two, so you're doing well so far.
SPEAKER_01Um I know a lot of people would go Christmas story. You know, I was talking to somebody the other night and they were well, he's in uh he with a young single adult ward. Yeah. Okay. And some of our listeners maybe don't understand that, but that's but he's he's over with a lot of these younger kids, and we're we're talking what, Jason? An 18 to 20, 25. Yeah, somewhere right in there. Maybe even a little more than that. But they were asked the same question. Okay. And number one was elf. I mean, it's good, but come on. But Christmas Vacation and the Christmas story weren't even on this little list. See, now that we're talking generational problems, right?
SPEAKER_00We're talking a lot of problems, and I can't get on board with that.
SPEAKER_01No, I got a lot of problems with like people.
SPEAKER_00If your kids are in that group, you failed, parents.
SPEAKER_01I well, I think I failed because my son, sh my my 18-year-old has not seen Christmas vacation. Are you kidding me? No, I know, I know. I'm uh but at first thing I thought is, well, maybe I am a good parent. And then I thought I don't know, Margot. That's one that they the kids really need to see. But elf is good. It is good. I love it. Don't get me wrong. I almost might put it in there as a top three. You would? Christmas, and I'm in in no particular order, Christmas Vacation, four Christmases, and probably ELF. But Christmas story is such a classic that it has to be in there, right?
SPEAKER_00Well, I'll give you, we'll we'll at least give you top five.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00Listen, you may be failing as a parent in that regard, but that's the only spot. Oh, thanks. I really appreciate that. My sister-in-law, she texted uh Sid. She texted our family thread the other day, and she's like, Um, I'm just gonna read it. She says, Tonight as I was putting her son down to bed, he sat up and said, Mom. And he's like three. And he said, Mom, why does he say, Are you serious, Clark? While gesturing with his arms. See, Sid is doing something right.
SPEAKER_01She is definitely doing something right. And a three-year-old is saying, Mom, just quote me that is such a good, that's such a good movie.
SPEAKER_00I I just I'm excited for Christmas. It's here in a few days. I got one final story. Please, please wrap right down.
SPEAKER_01And I had to I had to get um special authorization for this. Oh, these are always the best hands. Yeah, because this my my sweet, beautiful wife. Okay. Oh. I think I've told you this. I don't, I maybe. So it's around the holidays, okay? And we're deep in slumber. This is the middle of the night. Okay. All of a sudden I uh arose with such a clatter. The clatter that you ran to the window to see what was clear. I was awakened by the biggest flatulence. I mean, who I was woken up. But it wasn't you. I just not me. And in her sleep, she says, that's right, Merry Christmas, everyone. I mean, it was just like, here's what you're getting for Christmas. So she bombs this thing, wakes me up. I'm I'm startled. I'm like, what? And then she says, that's right. Merry Christmas, everyone. She has no recollection of this. She doesn't. No, she claims to this day that it couldn't have happened. How do I make that up? Yeah, I was gonna say. How do I make that up? Yeah. I mean, she is the sweetest, most beautiful person in the world, but that happened, man.
SPEAKER_00I can't help but think you went back to bed contemplating the beautiful reason for the season, and you're like, makes me wonder what she's getting me for Christmas.
SPEAKER_01That was so funny. And I'm she says it doesn't happen, but in a way I think she hopes it did happen. Yeah. Because that is awesome. That's that's to to to wake your partner up by noise alone and then say in your sleep, uh, that's right. Merry Christmas, everyone. Thanks again, folks, for listening to another episode of the Small Towns Podcast. We're pretty sure we've changed your life for the better. If not, well, we'll try again next time.