Welcome, millions, perhaps billions of faithful podcast listeners. We are your host, Jason Kimber and Dave Simmons. We'll bring you along with us as we share life stories from our experiences living in small towns, or in Jason's case, an unincorporated community. That's true, along with genius suggestions for solving the world's problems and a whole lot of laughs.

This is the Small Towns Podcast. Hello again. Once everyone, we are, uh, back at it in Jason and Dave's podcast and, uh, here to see if we can brighten some days and mornings for everybody. Jason, how you doing? I feel like a million bucks. Well, you look great. You look real good. Thank you. Thank you. I. Being a guy that, uh, hovers around deuce, deuce and a half.

I was a little closer to do. And half and a half. Let's be honest. I feel like a million bucks, buddy. You look great. You must be, what are you pumping iron? Well, I mean, I do work out on a somewhat semi-regular basis. When do you do that? Because I get done with work and I'm like, nah, but then people say, well, you gotta get up early in the morning.

Sorry, I'm not getting up earlier than I have to. Well, I have actually, the last couple of years I have actually got into a very good habit. I do go every Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I'm gonna throw a little shout out to, uh, Ryan and the crew down at Athletic Republic. Okay. Fantastic. I wonder if it's sponsor us, maybe.

Well, you gotta talk about it more. Yeah, exactly. And hopefully what you're gonna say next is a good thing. Hey everybody, I look great. Head down to Athletic Republic if you wanna look like me, and then everybody's like, well, yeah, like do you? No, I actually, I love to work out. I'm not the poster child for physical fitness.

Are you on any posters? Oh. Maybe you don't know. Let's make a poster. I've actually told Ryan many a time, I'm like, if you ever need to update your marketing campaign. 'cause he's got these awesome pictures of these like super young, super fit like guys and girls that are like dunking a basketball. Yeah.

Spiking a volleyball. Are you willing to take your shirt off for this? Of course I would. Yeah. So you, you'll do partial nudity? Of course I would. Okay, so you'll take your shirt off. Little short shorts. Yeah. Like you're gonna go run a marathon. Absolutely. And have them snap your pitcher. Yeah. And you know what, if you don't feel comfortable with it, just call it the before shot.

Eventually, maybe you'll get somewhere else, but if you don't, you're still a poster child and I still feel like a million bucks. You look great. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. You sure do. That's the nicest thing anybody ever said to me. You sure do. So first thing in the morning, like 6:00 AM Yeah, I go at six 30 again Monday, Wednesday, Friday, six 30 to seven 30.

I think I'd rather be a little heavy. Well, yeah, I mean, I'd just be a little portly because 6:00 AM. There's nothing I have ever come across in life. I like to golf. People are, Hey, let's go out and go early. Like, Hmm, nah. Yeah. And people, sometimes people say that golf's a great sport, and it is. I love to golf as well, and people say, yeah, like if you walk, I'm like, well, yeah, that's the problem.

Like why would walk? Why you walk? Call me weird. I kinda like walking. Do you? If somebody else is carrying my bag, oh yeah. I'm like, I'll go with my kids and they'll drive the cart and have my bag strapped to the back of it. I just walk it. Oh, I get, I can get behind you. I enjoy it for sure. I really enjoy it.

But yeah. I used to play in the city leagues, the basketball city leagues. Oh. You know, two or three nights a week. And over the last, what, probably seven or eight years that I haven't, the difference between doing that and not, I'm up 15 over where I was back in my playing days. Well, I also think that like age most assuredly plays a part.

Yeah. In this, because a phrase that now is in my regular lexicon is now that I am 40. Mm-hmm. And then, Finish the sentence. It's just not as easy to slough off the pounds. Yeah. 'cause I could work out in my thirties and notice a big difference. Um, now not so much. And, and lemme tell you a phrase that I hate.

I'll say that I, I may lament a little bit like, man, I've been working out like I sweat so hard. Pump an iron and I still like nothing. Like I still got this gut. Yeah. And then they say, oh, Jason Abs are made in the kitchen. I'm like, are they, are? Are they made in the kitchen? Then? People say nothing tastes as good as nothing tastes as good as being fit.

Feels, I don't know. Now I'll tell you what tastes better. Oh yeah. Double cheese. Oh, it's delicious. Oh yeah. In the paper, you know the cheese paper where you open up your cheeseburger and there's still some remnants of cheese on the paper. That's, that's good stuff. You've got a good one, babe. It's good stuff.

That's like a little extra bonus at the end. Yeah, it absolutely is. There's a great Simpsons episode where it says, like the doctor in Simpsons, if you want to know if something's good for you, or maybe it's bad for you, like you rub the burger on the paper and then you hold it up to the light and if you can see through the paper indicat in the grease that it's, yeah.

Good. I think he's onto something. Make the trans loose. So in the mornings when you go do this, is it weightlifting? Is it cardio? What are you doing? It's a little bit of both, buddy. I mean, it's like a circuit training. Okay. So we'll spend some time on the treadmill, the rower, you know, what do you hate The worst?

Oh boy, that's a good question. Sometimes we'll do like, um, incline. Backpedaling. Oh yeah. I'd fall right down. Oh yeah. It's the worst. Worst, right On your old worst kester, you're on a treadmill going backwards on an incline. Backwards. On an incline. Yeah, I'd fall down. The assumption is, is that you're coordinated and I can't, I'm not coordinated.

Well, I'm a pretty coordinated person. And to think of that, I mean, I guess just don't go too quick. Yeah, you gotta be careful. You gotta pace yourself. You land on your old kester and shoot you right off of that thing. Oh, there's been a couple. So how about, uh, flexibility? Are they working on, 'cause that to me and my, now that I'm at 45, Yeah, well, I've never been flexible.

I got a good buddy who used to say, I'm as flexible as a cold hockey puck. Which, which is not very flexible. That's what I mean. I'm flexible as a board to use that phrase. Yeah. Yeah. So do they work on flexibility? A little bit, but I don't think it's taken with me. I mean, just hasn't taken, not quite taken yet.

Not quite taken. I mean, just last night, uh, my youngest Kate and I, we went over. To the little local gym, little clubhouse there. She was leading me through some stretching exercises. Okay. She's eight, right? And she's like, do this dad. And I'm like, I, I, she's like, do it. I'm like, I, I am trying to do what you're doing, but I not working out.

I'm not even close to doing that. Have you ever taken a yoga class? Yeah, I sure have. Yeah. Me too. It was hot yoga. Oh. But hey, hey, hey. It's not what you're thinking. I Oh yeah. It's just warm in there. Oh, that's all it is. Because like when you say hot yoga, I'm thinking like, no, it's, no, you're thinking the wrong thing.

Okay. Yeah, it's just hot in there. And I think the idea, why don't you that, what's the purpose? Just sweat it out. Sick. Well, all I know there's some poses. As they're called, unless you're the teacher of the class, which she was unbelievable. Did the Dalai Lama, is he the one that did the yoga? Well, he wasn't my teacher.

Okay. Yeah, because he gonna say unless you're him himself, like you can't do those poses. Well, she was doing them. I giggle. She'd go, okay, now you, you do this. And we're in a big old class and my wife and I are there together. And the teacher says, okay, and then go down into Happy Baby. I don't know. Here's another thing.

I should be able to name the names because Happy Baby seems more like gassy daddy to me. Half the things they're making me do, I'm like, I'm just trying to hold in the gas here for sure. And I guaranteed You didn't buddy. I did. I held it in. You did. I I held it in it's hot Yoga. I it. Yeah. But I didn't, I mean, like, you don't want, you don't want steaming stinkers, I think because I'm familiar with Happy Baby and like there was one like downward dog.

Yeah. All of 'em. Chaturanga. Chaturanga. Yeah. I, every time she'd say that I thought of, wasn't there an old album called. Joe Mon, I don't know, half of the stuff she said. I don't understand word that's coming out of her mouth. So I'm just trying to watch what the pose is and not fall down. Like what's the one called that you take your left leg, flip it right up over the back of your head?

Yeah. What am I, a contortionist? I can't, I can't move my body in those directions. Like if I lay on my back right now on the ground, do it. No, I, I'm just gonna tell you, I tried it last night. I can't do it. Well, can you, you have your head behind you have your hands behind your head. Can you put your elbows on the ground when you're laying back on your back?

Hands behind your head. Can your elbows touch the ground? I feel like I could probably touch, prove it. Just prove it. Fine. Hands. We got plenty of room. Yeah. Jason's gonna go ahead and lay down on the ground here. So this seems simple, like I don't think this is a yoga pose, Dave. Well, you don't got a yoga mat by any Oh, this is just lay down.

Lay down. Yeah. Feet straight, hands behind your head. Can you put your elbows on the ground? No. You can't do it either. He can't do it, folks. He can't. He can't do it. Wait, I'm gonna do it. No, you can't do it. Hey, ah. Oh no. They, they're getting there, but they're not there. That seems okay. Stay there. That seems like not even real.

You remember the, remember back you played football. Well played is kind of in quotes, right? Yeah. Because I wasn't, you just bumped around out there. Exactly. Okay, so lay down on your back again. Put your right leg behind you. My, what do you mean? You know, like, so you're trying to stretch your quad? Yes. Now lay down.

Ouch. You gotta slow it down big fellas. Slow it down. Okay. Slow it down. O. Yeah. Yeah. Can you put that right knee on the ground? Not a shit. Not even close. Like do you wanna, do you wanna like, like if I were to do that, whatever that muscle is, that is a, A quad. I think it's your quad. It just pop, right? It will snap.

Like, yeah. There will be carnage, sheer carnage, sheer car. There are people that lay down and that knee just goes straight to the ground. No, that's impossible. Well, that's what I think too. Most people have. Bones. No, there's not bones, there's not ligaments, there's not anything. Yeah. It was like, I remember in one of my yoga classes, Uhhuh like they're doing this one.

You better get back to your mic now. Yeah. They're doing this one. Like, and um, I actually loved my yoga teacher. Her name was Caco. She was so good. Hmm. She was from Japan and she could balance on her like left leg. Yeah. Like lean all the way over and then like her right leg, I swear like did some sort of working up around the back of her head and like tuck around, like nibble her left ear.

I mean, it was something, look, I don't want it to sound like we are mocking yoga because No, of course not. I think that's the one thing right now, if I had to pick one thing that I need to do, it's yoga because I think you can burn calories for sure that way, but I just need to be able to move my body when there's certain places I'm trying to put lotion on my back so I don't itch at night.

I can't reach it. There's an area about, I'd say a circular circumference of about four inches and hey, like, Susie won't lotion your back up. It seems hard, but here's the thing is, I, I, I get dressed in the bathroom so I'm not traipsing out. Yeah. You know? Yeah, sure. You know, what's the word? Yeah. Nude. Nude.

Yeah. We don't want, and, and from other podcasts we've learned that there's a high probability that most of the neighborhood is in your bedroom. Yeah, well, yeah, you can't go into my bedroom. So anyways, I end up putting all my clothes on and then when I go in there to have her lotion in my back. At that point, after your clothes are on, on a side note, I don't like to lotion up and then like put your shirt on.

I don't like that. I used to be that way and now I'm a little better. I need to let that lotion kind of soak in a bit. Yeah, just let your body just drink it up. We need our sound effects guy right there. I hope he put something there. Yeah, that'll be fine. Okay. How about this? Have you ever taken a spin class?

When I first heard about a spin class, I, I'll be honest, I didn't quite get it. 'cause like is that like where you just like, you're just go spin twirl? Yeah, like twirl bike. It's not a twirling class. It's a spin class. Spin class. And yeah. Exercise bikes. Why is it a spin class? Well, your legs are spinning, you're riding a bike, you're spinning your legs, the wheel is spinning.

Okay, fair enough. You're not going anywhere. Yeah, I mean, you might as well get spinning wheel. Just spin your wheel. Spinning wheel. Yeah. Welcome to my life. So I've started two spin classes now. Go ahead and ask me how many I've finished. Yeah, how many have you finished? None. I have not finished a spin class yet.

How long are those classes? I was guessing 30 minutes. That was my guess. Okay. So, you know, they're really peppy guys or ladies up there leading the class. Come on, you're doing great. Uh, now crank it up to maximum tension. Uh, I am at maximum tension. Yeah. This is, as much as I'm gonna get on this. I'm about 20, 25 minutes into this thing.

I look over at the person next to me. I'm like, how long are these classes? And she's like, I don't know. I'm like, Must be her first time too. Yeah. So we get to about 25 minutes. I'm like, I can't do this. Yeah, I'm done. So you make an excuse. Ah, I'm supposed to be somewhere. I'll see you. So I come back weeks later, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do this.

We passed the 30 minute mark. We passed 35 minutes. Guys, how long is this class? I think they're an hour. Not for me. They're not an hour. Like that's like who rides a bike for an hour? That's like inhumane. Yeah. Well it was for me. What am I gerbil exactly? You know? I can't just keep running on this thing over and over and over.

Yeah. But yoga and spinning are the things that I feel like would be best for my body right now. Low impact. Yeah. Flexible stretchable. That's what I need in my life. I would agree with you. Like when I did a couple of yoga classes, I really did love them. I mean, I didn't do the hot yoga, but make no mistake, I was sweating.

Yeah, it's not easy. I was sweating like me at a dance. 15 year old Jason out there. Just sweating it at, just sweating. Wonder who I should ask. Dance right now. Says it seem like I should be asking anybody over there. I just, I got swack going on. Oh yeah. Sweat it back. Anything You can put sweat with probably sweaty button.

Oh. You haven't shaved down there in a while. You can get that lint, pull it out. You got like an Afghan in there. It's, and then when you don't wanna sweat with that in there. Shit in my belly button. That's You gotta trim. You gotta trim. Yeah, that's true. I guess if you, you save that lint, you make yourself a sweater.

You could, some guys could. Yeah. We got a good buddy. He could. He could. He for sure. Absolutely. Have you ever watched somebody running on the road mm-hmm. Long distance and seeing them with a smile on their face? No. No, no. You can't run distances. They actually look angry with smile. They look really mad and like upset, bothered.

Why am I doing this? Yeah, I don't know why you're doing it. It seems crazy to me too, but here's my theory. Instead of marathons where people run and walk. Uhhuh, just skip. Tell me more. I'll tell you more. Have you ever seen, I don't think it's possible. Physically possible to skip, you know, picture me skipping right now.

I'm pictured in my mind's eyes. Beautiful. Breathtaking. It's beautiful, breathtaking. You can't skip and not smile. I don't think it can be done. Oh, I, I actually would agree. I concur. I concur. I think people should be skipping marathons. But how long would it take you to skip? Like 26 months. Well, people walk 'em in half marathons.

They, or they'll, they'll power walk 'em. You know where they really shake the old booty. Yeah. Those people though, they look real ornery. Yeah, they do. So skip, yeah, just skip. I think that the motion of the skip Yeah. Is there's something to it. And then we could really branch this thing. Well I don't think you could start with a marathon.

You gotta go half or maybe a five K. Let's do a five. A five K. Instead of a fun run. It's a fun skip. Yeah. And it could be like for a good cause too. For a good, well, you can be a bad for a bad cause. I don't care. I. Just skip the good cause would be that, like you would be happy at the end of the five K.

Absolutely. And at the end, they probably want to go get some cinnamon rolls or something together. Ah, you could really launch this into some merch, you know? Oh, for sure you could. Or talk to Nike. Let's make skipping shoes. I mean, they have everything else they do. They got tennis shoes. They got racketball shoes.

I wonder where they even have CrossFit shoes. Have you seen those? If you've seen like the shoes that the skis make 'em that look like they're like big old blocks and stuff, and I don't really like those shoes. What would a ski shoe look like? I know, well, we'd have to do research. We would, and for our more maybe flamboyant skippers.

Yeah. You put taps on the bottom of 'em. I'd like that. Yeah. You just tap around. Tap around. Yeah. You could kinda record it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Put some microphone down there. So in a certain skip you're creating a fun little noise. A fun little sound. Yeah. I like that. I mean, I'm not gonna put taps on the bottom of mine.

Yeah. And I, I've been, I've told the kids I didn't, I know how to clog. I, I don't know how to clog. There's a Geico commercial where they have a C clogging problem. Yeah. I love, and it cracks me up. So funny. And so I've analyzed their moves and I've tried to really bring the moves into our house, Uhhuh. I'm like, Hey guys, I know how to clog.

And I do those moves and they think it's the funniest thing. Heather's a fantastic clogger. Is she really? Yeah. She can clog. I had no idea. Did she have c clogging shoes? Uh, well I don't think anymore, but she, I mean she had like, I guess those are called clogs, aren't they? Yeah. Isn't that what nurses wear?

I kind of don't think nurses are. Well, I mean, not that they're gonna dance in, but I don't think they're clogs, clogs, nurses listening. You would, you would be clacking around the the hospital. That's true. Wait, noisy. I'm thinking lots of merch. You know, something about Skip Your life will be better. I don't know.

There is a lot of skip for smiles. Can I ask you about a exercise? Sure. I don't wanna interrupt. Yeah. Um, 'cause one exercise that I actually have done in the past that I quite enjoy 'cause I think the secret to exercising, you have to find something that you like. It's been several years, of course. Hence nos and a half.

No, you look great. Thank you. I feel great. Um, I like to. Ride my bike. Yeah. And I do a road bike. When Heather and I first got married, she and I, we had road bikes and her parents, Phil and Dano, we would go on these kind of, these long road bike rides. And in fact, every year there would be a kind of a, a long bike ride for, it was MS one 50.

Mm-hmm. It was kind of a, a fundraiser. 150 miles. Right. 150 miles. And you could do different legs. And so the one year it was just myself and Phil and Dana, we did the MS one 50, we did the 75 mile leg. I rode my, I rode my bike 75 miles. Oh, that's chafe. Yeah. Well, I'm glad you brought that up because it wasn't chafe.

What I'm gonna tell you why you used talk about merch. There's merch for everything and I don't know how this would tie into the skipping shoes, but at about mile, you know, we had practiced and, and kind of really, um, trained for riding 75 miles because that's a long time. And interestingly enough, I think any biker would agree with me, my legs weren't the problem.

The first part gives out on me. When you're riding your bike, 75 miles. Is the saddle. Yeah. Behind, if you will, the old keister. The old backside was sore, I would imagine. Well, in preparation for this kind of anticipating, I'd talked to a lot of bikers that they say this was gonna happen. You can buy something.

I had my bike shorts on. Okay. Not super attractive for a guy like me, but I listen. Did you wear something over 'em? Well, um, I mean, because it's the Battle of the Bulge. Yeah. And it's not good. The, the bulge might have won. Um, I, uh, yeah. I didn't, I didn't actually, I didn't, I mean, I was just, Full-blown. I mean, I was like, here I am here, here.

This is me, this is me. This, this is, this is what I got. This is, this is what I got. But I knew that I was gonna have a problem. And those bike shorts, they have what they call in the backside, it's called a shammy. Okay. Part of the short. Okay. And so you can go down to any bike store and you can get a. A product that's called shammy butter.

Oh boy. B u t t Prophe R. Oh, I see what they did there. What you do is you take that and you lube up. You go into the porta-potty. That was, this was at about mile, gosh, I'm gonna say maybe mile 50. Do you do that with your hand? No. What you do? I just went in there. Please don't put this in your mind's eye, but you go, I'm trying not to.

Yeah, and then you just, you just apply it. It's like a, it's like a tube of toothpaste and you just, if you will, onto the shamia of the short itself. Okay. Oh, onto the shamia of the short itself. I see. You're not touching the short. I feel like needs to be spread around though. Well, it gets butter spread around.

Once pull short back off. I see. Of, I would think if you're just like a line, like a, you got toothpaste and you got a line of that stuff, it's gonna kind of just go right up into the old Well, that's right. Where it needs to go. Right where it needs to go. Oh, I would think it would need to be kinda frosted a cake.

I mean, like I'm just, I'm spreading it all over. Yeah, exactly. Over. Of course, I'm happy to share that stuff, so I Sure you're, I mean, I gave it to, you know, Phil and d and, and I'm sure they applied it as needs to be as well. I'm, I'm here to tell you, there was one thing that pros didn't tell me. Applied it in the bathroom was great, and it was a nice cooling sensation.

So right away it felt better. I go to get on my bike and thank goodness, slip right off. Oh boy, I tell you what buddy. It was like, it was, it, it was like a slip and slide. You know what I mean? So, but thank goodness when you're riding those road bikes, I had the shoes that clipped in because if I had not been clipped onto that bike, I have not a chance I would've stayed on it because I was like, I mean, I was like, picture this in your mind, listener.

Like, I was like all over the place. Like I couldn't stay on that seat until, so the butter got where it needed to get, if you know what I mean. Yeah. But it was a fantastic bit of merch and I'll never do another ride without it. Interesting. You know, you watch people do those things. And the lengths they go to be able to do 'em like that.

Yeah. Makes you think maybe you shouldn't be doing those. You watch a guy run a marathon, Jason, people poop their pants. I know. That's horrible. I, I mean, I'm never doing that just to finish. Yeah. I think if you're to the point where you're like, Hmm, I wanna finish or poop my pants, I'm just gonna stop. I'm just gonna be done.

Yeah. I don't, I'm not about that. I'd rather not. I mean, because there's been plenty of other times in my life where I've come real, real close to pooping my pants. I don't wanna be running a race while I'm doing it. No, I firmly believe that every grown man has pooped his pants at least once. Mm-hmm. So we've gotten done with all of our exercising.

Yeah. Whatever we're gonna do. How do you cool off or maybe relax? What do you do? Well, um, you got a hot tub. I do have a hot tub. And I tell you what, there's one time, like I pulled a muscle and like. I couldn't even hardly breathe, and I just crawled into my truck and I just limped myself home. Sweaty clothes and all.

I mean, I had to clean the hot tub afterwards, but like I just crawled into the hot tub because like I was hurting so bad and I got a massage chair as well. Yeah. In fact, your massage chair inspired me to get a massage chair and they're great. It changed your life for the better. Well, I know, but my dog won't let me get in that every time I, no.

I get into the massage chair and I'm starting to really enjoy it, and then the dog's down there at my feet going, Hmm. He wants to be on my lap. I'm a soaker, but I don't have a hot tub right in the tub. Oh. But the problem is, is I don't have a very big tub. Okay. It's a big man and a little tub. Oh. My entire body is never immersed at the same time.

Really? I'll fall right asleep too. I mean, I can be asleep in that tub, no problem at all. But a tiny tub, you can be in a tiny tub. Yeah, no problem. I'll just take a soap. It's a good relaxing thing. Now I, again, my whole body is never in there. People say, well, if you fall asleep you might drown. No, my face isn't getting under that water.

There's no way I would have to contort myself yoga style to be able to get my face under that water. So like your feet are like jammed into the end. Yeah. Your knees kind of emerge and break through out of the water. Much like the Titanic saw that night of that. If you'll Yes, that's absolutely right.

Come back in and then your head kind of, okay, so you're not, nowadays my belly's kind of out the water too, hear a little, and that's embarrassing. So we're working on it. Well, I just don't let people come in. Sure. Come in the bathroom. It's your time. I got Cheetos. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What kind of soak is a soak without a little bowl of Cheetos?

No. Um, well let me ask you this. Okay. Hypothetically, hypothetically, hypothe, because I think I know where you're going with it. I never, like, why would I don't ever have any food in the tub. Well, you're missing out. It's ridiculous. Well, let me, let me ask you this. Okay? You're sitting in the bathtub taking in a soak of the ear.

You have a little thing of Cheetos next to you, and you're maybe listening to a podcast like this one, and you're working on your Cheetos. Now, one Cheeto, just like popcorn, you lose one, just like that. But Cheeto drops into the water. You now have not even seconds. What do you do? You say you've gotten your seconds.

You don't need any seconds. What are you gonna do? I think with your hand, I mean, I'm not opposed to touching the cheo once it's been saturated with water. Somebody's got to. But I think you just launch it. You just fling it out. No. You fling it outta your top. No, you don't fling it out. You fling it out.

The, the cheese on that thing is gonna f everywhere. You can't just fling that out. I wanna kinda go back to my per point, like I don't know why there is Cheetos. Don't mock it. Take try it. Okay. Okay. I'd like you to get into Mine is one of those where it's just a tub and a shower. That's why I call it a shoub.

I like, I take his soak. Okay. And then when I'm done, I stand up and I shower. I don't mind a tub off outside like you. 'cause you're stewing in your own juice. Yeah. Now you are stewing in your own. Cheeto juices. Yeah, it's Cheeto juice. Why you say it was me? Well, I, yeah, I'm just, you're just assuming. Well, just assuming a hypothetical else's usually happens.

So here's what happens. So what did you do, Dave? Well, you have to eat it and you have to eat it fast. Sick. You No, no, you don't. You don't eat Chee in a super quick moment. You're like, I either have to get out, pick it up, or set it on the side of the tub, which is now gonna just kind of off porcelain, just gonna kind of drip out flinging it is not even, not even on my list.

I'm not gonna just chuck it like it's a cockroach or something. Yes, that's exactly what, if you eat it quick enough, look, it's not delicious. No, but there was even a mild crunch. No, no, there wasn't. You have, you have to eat that thing super fast. You can't, you plug your nose if you have to. You just gotta eat it and just be done with it and realize nobody just saw that.

You might share it on a podcast one day. You might to the world maybe, but you have to eat that. And then it's all gone. It's just gone. Mm. There might be some remnants of Cheeto fra in your water, but you don't see it. Hey, you're not dry heavy. No. You couldn't eat a Cheeto that dropped in your bath water.

I, I might.

Yeah. I would. I guess it's my bath water. But I, the thing Exactly. If you and I are soaking in your hot tub out, se swimsuits on. Of course. Yeah. I mean who body suits maybe. Sure. Perhaps. And you dropped a Cheeto, I'm not grabbing your Cheeto in. No, no. This is my own Cheeto in the tub. And they float. And they float.

You don't have to go searching for it. Hey, sure. But I would assume, I'd like to do some scientific analysis on this because I would assume that once a Cheeto gets exposed to a liquid, like I would assume it would disintegrates. You gotta be fast. You gotta be quick. I got quick hands, bubble gum. On the other hand, you're soaking in the tub.

Okay. Different time. Of course. Yeah, of course. I hope so. 'cause you do not chew gum and Cheetos. No, that's. Sick. Sick. I'm not a heathen sick. You try to blow a bubble like people do with chewing gum. A hubba bubba. Is it tough? Yeah. Yeah. Just listening to Bored. Yeah, just bored. So what am I gonna do? Try to blow a bubble.

For whatever reason it doesn't go right. Your bubble gum launches sick. Into the water. You get a little too aggressive with the bubble. Yeah. Yeah. It launches into the water Now bubblegum sinks immediately. It does. Now, it's difficult because you got the lower waves under there you're trying to grab and you can't grab it, but you've gotta grab that.

You can't leave that in the water with you because you've got orifices. Oh man. Next thing you know, you've plugged up the wrong spot. Well, I mean, yeah, but it's not like any of those orifices are like, It's not like it's the drain that's like sucking it. Well, hey, I know you don't take chances. You don't take chances.

That gum gets plugged up and courts you in the wrong spot. Next thing you know, you're passing some gas and you got a bubble. Oh yeah. You're blowing, you're blowing bubbles outta the wrong spots. I can't get behind any of this. You, you know, we've learned from earlier episodes that you won't eat a bean No.

But you'll eat a. Soggy Cheeto. Yeah, but not just any soggy Cheeto. A a bath water, a bathwater. Cheeto. Cheeto. Well, I didn't chew the gum again. Does that make you feel better about me? I don't understand your level of ethics there. Like, like Cheeto? Yes. Gum. No, I don't. I don't. Well, Cheeto Yes. 'cause of the mess.

Bubble gum goes down. It's the physical side. You've gotta get it out. You can't have that going places. It shouldn't go. So the Cheeto though, is more of a, you're sacrificing one for the team so that the rest of the bathtub A doesn't get dirty, or B, you don't have to get out. I guess maybe the moral of the story is you're correct.

Probably shouldn't have food in the tub. Nah, I'm not gonna judge that. Nah, go ahead. Now I'm gonna have some food in the tub. Well, folks, that seems like a great place to end. We're gonna leave you all with the image in your mind of Cheetos floating in the water, and what you would do if you're gonna let that Cheeto float, or if you're gonna just go ahead and eat it.

I say eat it bone appetits. Thanks again, folks for listening to another episode of The Small Towns Podcast. We're pretty sure we've changed your life for the better. If not, well, we'll try again next time.