Small Towns Podcast
Small Towns Podcast
E49 Things the Guys Never Want to Do Again.
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There are things in this life, that nobody wants to do again. Jason and Dave share a few of their things… Dave: Never wants to hang Christmas lights or get punched in the face… again. Jason: Participate in a Hostess Party? No thank you very much. The guys get a little vulnerable in this one… or are they just whiny? Probably just whiny…
Note: We recorded this before we started to film our pods. But the audio version will still be up on our Youtube channel as well. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9Ho_JyHy1HRSxM7QB4s7qQ
Welcome millions upon millions, perhaps billions, of faithful podcast listeners. We are your hosts, Jason Kimber and Dave Simmons. We'll bring you along with us as we share life stories from our experiences living in small towns, or in Jason's case, an unincorporated community. That's true. Along with genius suggestions for solving world problems and a whole lot of laughs. This is the Small Towns Podcast. Alright, welcome back, folks. Jason Kimber here with Dave Simmons, another episode of Small Towns Podcast. Dave, how are you doing? Feeling pretty good. My mic was way, way for the case. I was gonna say, I think you mentioned this before, but like we're gonna take a picture of our studio, but uh the studio might be kind of a strong.
SPEAKER_01If I go back, am I gonna bash the wall?
SPEAKER_00I think we're gonna be fine.
SPEAKER_01Maybe this episode, I'm gonna recline. Did you hear that click? That's the clicking of a recliner, ladies and gentlemen.
SPEAKER_00I am I am officially prone. You are prone, and it still looks like you're you're um, as I'm looking at the the what do you call this on the computer? It's a computer. It's a computer. I'm looking at the uh you know the sound waves of our voices as we record this. You're still coming in loud and closer. I think we're fine.
SPEAKER_01This thing's got a uh some sort of a I can adjust it with the crook of the thing. It's like a boom mic. Yeah, it's a boom mic that we can just boom it right over here, by the way. And you look comfy. Well, I mean it's kind of a core workout. I don't see it. We'll see how long this thing lasts.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, uh, and I actually think kind of the clicking of the recliner going back is kind of a nice sound to I think so. Yeah, it lets make people feel comfortable. Make them like bring them into our living room. It feels a little bit like a fireside chat of the years of FDR.
SPEAKER_01It is kind of warm in here, too. The years of FDR. It is a little warm in here. Yeah. I'm gonna just keep my shirt on though.
SPEAKER_00Oh well, you keep up with that tradition. You've had a couple of slips. Yeah, I have slipped up a couple times.
SPEAKER_01Remember, folks, my New Year's resolution, so now over ten months ago, yes, was to not remove my shirt.
SPEAKER_00But for the year. Oh, we need to talk about this because you you you busted it once and we talked about it while we while Susie was driving, but you was in you was. Oh my gosh, you were in the passenger seat.
SPEAKER_01That was your fault though, because we talked about it on a couple pods ago. Is you you you did it first.
SPEAKER_00I did. I actually took my shirt off while I was driving.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and then I got peer pressured, and I'm like, well, if he's gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. I didn't next thing you know, you're on Main Street Logan without your shirt on. And just driving casually. I mean, I felt good. It was a beautiful summer night. Yeah, and when that when that air goes through your armpits, it's wonderful.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, actually, you know what?
SPEAKER_01Free the pits.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, exactly. I don't, I don't, there's a lot of challenges going on these days. Like my youngest daughter, she said, Dad, do we have a sprite at home? And I'm like, she was up with her friends, and I said, Yeah, I think so. She's like, can oh, this was actually well, this is my oldest, this was Kennedy. She's like, we want to do the Sprite Challenge. And I'm like, what's the Sprite Challenge? Like, tell me it's not like a Tide Pod challenge where you're eating. Yeah, let's not do dumb things. But I think the Sprite challenge is that you drink a carbonated beverage as fast as you can without like without burping or something.
unknownI don't know.
SPEAKER_00You gotta you gotta put it on the uh you know on the YouTubes. I couldn't do that. No, I couldn't either. I got a very delicate.
SPEAKER_01I I'll hiccup I hiccup as after one swallow of Sprite or root beer. You do gets me every time. One hiccup or does it does it give you case? Okay. No, it's just one.
SPEAKER_00My nephew's the same way.
SPEAKER_01This this reclining, this is reclining, is I'm a little too casual. I gotta focus up, be a little bit more professional.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, listen, you look great. Um I think because we mentioned it though, but Dave had a lapse.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then just last night.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I lapsed again.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he lapsed again. We actually were together with some friends playing Mafia, which is kind of a fun. I didn't, I mean it took me a hard, I wasn't really getting it at first. Oh, me either. You saw me. I could not quite figure that thing out. But at one point everybody closes their eyes and the mafia opens their eyes and they choose a victim. Anyways, there's a there's a whole deal, and I'm sure maybe a lot of you know it. If not, ask anybody that's under 15. They'll they'll explain to you. All of a sudden, I'll put it in my eyes and Dave's got a shirt off.
SPEAKER_01Well, if it's I look, and that was probably the third game in. Believe me, the first time that the whole everybody playing had to close their eyes, yeah, it went through my head, I've got to take my shirt off. Yeah, why wouldn't you? Everybody's eyes are closed. When they open their eyes, there's one dude with his shirt off.
SPEAKER_00And it took everybody a few minutes because we were kind of in a big circle. And mind you, this was a family game. I mean, we were all there with all of our kids. Well, not all of our kids, but those that could. And um there were screams. There was like I still susie looked over at you and was like, what?
SPEAKER_01There were screams and lots of love.
SPEAKER_00No, I think it's funny. I think it's funny. I do too.
SPEAKER_01But after later, honestly, Susie said, You probably shouldn't do that. She did.
SPEAKER_00Well, you know, a fun hater.
SPEAKER_01She's a killjoy.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. Um, I I for one liked it. You encourage it? Encourage it. Well, you're not helping me with my my New Year's resolution. And and I think what makes it the best is that if it can be completely unexpected.
SPEAKER_01That's when I try to do it. When nobody is expecting, it's the funniest.
SPEAKER_00And you, I mean, you slayed last night.
SPEAKER_01Thank you. You slayed. Thank you. Is that what the kids are saying? I don't even know. We by the way, we gotta have a teen talk two episode. Oh, yeah, we gotta do that. Because there's new ones. There's new ones. There are new ones. I don't even I don't know if Griffey's making stuff up. He might have the stuff he comes home with. I'm like, we gotta get a Teen Talk 2 episode going.
SPEAKER_00I'm on board um um with that. In fact, I want to say that I heard a new one the other day. Um uh and I and I can't even remember what it what it was.
SPEAKER_01There's there's a quite a few of them. Um but what we I think we had decided to chat about today.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. I kind of got I don't I don't remember how good our sound is here, but can you hear that? This no is that Max? That's Max. Crying? Max is crying, he's outside the door, I think. And so, sorry, there's a little bit of a pause there again, talk about it. I said, hey, Max is is sad, can you come get him? And that's a nice way of saying Max is interrupting our podcast. But it's okay.
SPEAKER_01I don't think that's coming through on the air.
SPEAKER_00I don't think it is either, so I probably shouldn't have brought it up.
SPEAKER_01Well, we were gonna talk about, we're gonna go back and forth today on things we'd never want to do again. I mean, a lot of most people would take the more optimistic route and say these are the things I would love to do again. Yes. We were gonna we're gonna take the uh the route of I don't wanna, I don't want, I don't wanna do that again. Okay. Okay, so you want to start? I mean, I can't if you if I just threw you.
SPEAKER_00No, you know, I've I've got a list here because I made some notes of things that because sometimes they they um they'll start rolling here, but actually, no, I I've got one to just kind of start.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00Things that I will never do again. I will never, I don't even know if this is where you're talking, but I will never go water skiing again. Really? No, never. Why? Never, never. Um, not that it was like a traumatic experience or that I was scared or anything, but like maybe I don't have any, in fact, I'm pretty sure I have zero upper body strength. But the last time I tried to go water skiing, our friend Tina, and we love her, she's got a boat, she's fantastic. In fact, I remember her nephew one time said, Tina, you are rich. And she's like, Why do you say he's like, You got a dog, you got a house, you got a boat. And you know what? She is rich. How about that? What else do you need? What else do you need? But she is always so good, so she she's so good if we have family and she'll so you guys want to go out on the lake, and and she takes us all the time. Well, I went one time to try to go water skiing, and I'm here to tell you, buddy, I could not get out of the water. I really and so she's with two skis? With two skis, she's pulling me off. I drank more of Hiram Dam than I'd like to admit. I mean, but I was not gonna quit. Uh there was one moment. I I'm probably maybe Tina and Heather and those that in attendance may need to fact-check this, but I think I might have been up on two skis for like 10 seconds. Really? But she just drew me off. I mean, I was so determined. Well, we go home, we get the boat out of the water, we go home and we shower, we decide to meet for dinner at Cafe Sabor. Fantastic little local Mexican joint here. And I'm feeling fine. I shower, I don't think about it, and then maybe we rested a little bit, and we go, we order our food, they bring it to us. I grab my fork and I go to put my first bite of this delicious carne asada into my mouth. And my, if you can see my arms here, ladies and gentlemen, my arm is stuck in a crooked fashion as if I have a fork, and I can't, I can't my arm will not. I cannot bring the arm, I cannot bring the fork to my mouth. I cannot, and I was panicking, like I I couldn't, my muscles hurt so bad. I had to actually move my hand, my head. I was like, You move your mouth to your hand. I've never it hurt so bad. I could I was walking around kind of like Frankenstein or like that cute kid on a Christmas story that his mom wraps him up in the coat so tight. He can't put his arms down. Oh, it was awful. So I will never and and that was several years ago. Age has not helped that. I'm 45, I'm never going to.
SPEAKER_01It just doesn't appeal to you.
SPEAKER_00No, I love to be in the boat.
SPEAKER_01I hate being in the boat. Really? It's just bouncing around. Yeah, I know. I would rather be on like a wave runner and driving it. Yeah, for sure. Than be sitting in a boat. When people say, You want to come water skiing? No. No, absolutely. I really don't want to. Now, my kids love it. And so to all their friends who invite them, thank you. Yes. Because I I don't want to do it. It's not, it that doesn't appeal to me at all. Bouncing around on a boat.
SPEAKER_00And I think it's because I don't, as you know, and as pretty much all of our listeners know, athletic prowess is something that I'm not really it's not a part of me. Yeah. I mean, I can go off. You have way other talent. Thank you. That's the nicest thing you can do. That's fine. Yeah, it's fine.
SPEAKER_01Here's one I don't ever want to do. Yeah, what is something you'll never want to do again? Well, I'm gonna tell you one that I'll breeze right by it because I think it should be an obvious. Okay. I'm I'm never gonna go to a spook alley. Never. Oh, I agree with you. I won't do it. You can't you can't offer me. There's nothing you could offer me that I'm like, that sounds I'll do it for that. Oh, so scary. No, I just they're stupid. Yeah. Um, what I will never do again is ride any type of spinning amusement park ride. Oh, I'm with you, but that's not always has it always been the case for you? I feel like it. Well, even when we were little, I mean I'll ride, I'll ride like um Space Mountain and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01But that's not spinning, but that's spinning. But I remember as a little guy, it's the picture we I think we put it on the gram. It's the one with my belly shirt. And the shorty short short. And the tube socks pulled up. And the tube socks pulled me. My clothes were covering all the wrong places. But, anyways, that was we were right outside, if I remember right, right outside Space Mountain. And I remember that ride, and it you're in the dark, obviously, and I didn't know where the turns were coming, so I was anticipating a left or something when the when the ride went right, and I remember my mouth just being pulled the other direction, and it was terrible. And I at that point I thought I'm not I'm not ever gonna ride this one again either. Now, since then I've ridden it and it's actually quite fun. But if you take like the Gravitron at the Carnival. Never. No. There is no way I would do something like that. I'm prone to vertigo as it is, as am I. I have it. I I'll roll over, I'll roll over at night in bed and have a little bit of a mild spin. Uh-huh. But I've actually had vertigo to where it's almost debilitating for 24 hours.
SPEAKER_00Like I've I've had it.
SPEAKER_01You stand up and your your world spins.
SPEAKER_00World spins. It makes you sick. Yeah. Well, it's dangerous. But like that, the Gravitron, and then even before that, there was one at and maybe it still is at these carnivals, I don't know. Where you'd really you'd actually stand up. But the Gravitron, you'd stand up. There, I don't know if you remember this. There's there's no harnessing devices, there's no seat belts. It spins, and then you're laying back, kind of tilted back a little bit, like your Frankenstein or uh Dracula in a coffin, you know, back like that. Yeah. And the it slides you up a little bit, but you're not, you're not you're not strapped in, you're just going like a freaking centrifuge. Yeah. And it's oh, I I would centrifugal force keeping you in your seat. And thankfully, this never happened to me, and it will never happen to me because I'll never go with another one of those again. But what if somebody would have puked? Oh, it is flying everywhere.
SPEAKER_01It's like puking in a fan.
SPEAKER_00Everybody's gonna get covered up.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I guarantee that people do puke. Oh, without question. I think it's uh not now, we're not doctors.
SPEAKER_00No, but I play well on TV.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we're we we definitely look.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm no doctor, but I'll take a look. Um my father-in-law, Susie's dad, is deaf. Okay, reads lips. It's an unbelievable thing. If you have anybody that knows him, it's unbelievable to the way he can read your lips. Well, he also, I think it's something in our ears because he uh when the kids were little, he could hold them and spin, just come just spin, spin, spin as he held the the kids. And they obviously thought it was so much fun. But I think as adults, we we there's something in our ears, our equilibrium is going on up there that he must not deal with that. So he so it's fine. I mean, he was uh when we had the little ones, he would have been, you know, 40s. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_00I well you imagine just like stand up right now and just spin like a top. If I were to actually take on the second spin, I'd be like, okay, that's it, that's enough. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01I can't do it, I hate it. Well, how do how do maybe it's because they're still young, but how do um ice skaters do that brrrr where they spin like a billion miles an hour?
SPEAKER_00I I I think there's some mirrors involved. I think there's some voodoo. There's a little witchcraft going on there. I know it's crazy because and then and then to actually be able to do the triple U. So right after that. Like, how are you not doing the stuff? You can't shoot the duck after you spin the catalog like that.
SPEAKER_01So, yeah, count me out when it comes to any type of spinning ride. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Um you want to know something that I will never do? What's that? And and this is just a fact. I will never overeat again at Maddox. There's a clarifier. To the degree that I did 10 years ago with my father-in-law. I I ate so first of all, I love Maddox. It's a local steakhouse over the hill in Brigham City, Utah. Perry, Utah, I believe. Um I love it. It's it's my favorite. I'd love to go get a steak there. It's fantastic. People around here love Maddox. Maddox, it's it's it's a local establishment, it's it's an icon in in northern Utah. But I remember I went there with him, and we were there were several of us there kind of having a it was me and and Phil and and my brothers-in-laws. And and we went there and I I started with an appetizer with a with a shrimp bowl. Okay, delicious. Yeah. And then I had a steak, mashed potatoes, corn on a cob, veggie. Delicious. And they also bring you like all the rolls. Oh yeah. And cornbread you can eat. Yeah. I think they call them corn pones. They're like in the shapes of these little and so I ate all of those. On your own. Pretty much. Yep. Uh nobody else had a turn. Then I had a big old piece of uh peach pie because it was. I can't remember if this was in the I think it was in the spring, so I think it was strawberry pie. I think I had a piece of strawberry pie. I the story still applies. It does. I I've never I remember getting into the car. Phil was driving, I was in the passenger, and I put my hand on the ceiling. What have I done? What have I done? I mean, now I've got a 30-minute drive to get home, and I am like, like I have never been so uncomfortable. Sweating. I swe I had the meat sweats like nothing else.
SPEAKER_01Jason, here's the thing. Never doing that again. Um are we allowed to call bull on any of these, like, yeah, you will. If you say, I'm never doing that again, and I'm well I had a lot of clarifiers there.
SPEAKER_00I said, at Maddox.
SPEAKER_01I will I brought our bleep butt. Go ahead. I bl I brought our brought our bleep button back. Say that again. Bleep button. Bleep button button five times real fast. Bleep button back. Um, and I think that that one should be like I think you're gonna do it again.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so I'm gonna say it and then you try it. Okay. I will never overeat at Maddox again.
SPEAKER_01No, I think you will. It's like I mean, there's certain things you're gonna do. Yeah, but I can't. I'm gonna overeat at Thanksgiving. Whoa, whoa, we've got a lot of fun. Oh my goodness, that's that's an ad. That's an okay. Some sort of an ad podcast.
SPEAKER_00We'll just pay for the bleep button next time. Um okay, I I'm gonna take that because I've since overeaten, but I don't, I can never, if I think of a time in my life where I overeat, that is top of mind. And you and I are gonna go grab a steak after this, and I might try and push it. We'll see.
SPEAKER_01We'll see what happens. I I there are plenty of times where I've eaten myself sick. Okay. And I say to my wife, I'm never eating again. Ever. Ever. I'm done eating. You know, and then four to six hours later, I'm like, yeah, maybe I'll just have a little snack. Probably have that. That'll be fine. That'll be fine. That doesn't count.
SPEAKER_00Okay, I'm gonna give you the uh uh one thing that I mean I couldn't have bleeped you about the haunted house or the ski rides for sure. Nope. And you uh no, you couldn't have bleeped me with the water skiing, unless for some reason I somehow decide to slough 70 pounds and start a huge upper body regimen, so we'll see.
SPEAKER_01Um let me um here's one for you. I I don't I don't want to ever change a poopy diaper again. I'm done with that.
SPEAKER_00Well, buddy, but you are you are looking at grandkids? That's what you're gonna say? That's what I'm gonna say.
SPEAKER_01No. Just pass them on. Susie'll do it. Well, of course she will. She would totally do it. Yeah. I'm not doing it. Is that rude?
SPEAKER_00No, it's not rude, and I'm not gonna. I want I I kind of want to call the bleep button because like I think I think you're gonna happen.
SPEAKER_01It may have to happen. Like I'm not sure if they let alone no. I'm I'm what if I'm babysitting a little guy? That's true. Which I'm gonna try to avoid.
SPEAKER_00Exactly.
SPEAKER_01By yourself, yeah. I don't want to do it. No. I mean because what if they cry or something? I don't know, I've already done it. I'm done it. Put it in front of the TV. Yeah, watch this. Give her an iPad. Um, but if I mean if it necessitates, yes, like it. I'm not gonna let a little guy sit in his own filth. No, that's gross. Yeah, and and it's it's not healthy. Yeah, yeah, you're a nice guy. Yeah, uh, I I am.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01One of the best that I know. But if if I can help it, I won't be changing any more poopy diapers. Yeah. In fact, this is gonna make me seem super rude. Okay. When Susie decided, and I'm not. You're not rude, but sometimes I'm a little bit rude. When Susie said she said that she wanted the fourth child. Yes. And I said, we're probably okay. And she said, no. Yes. So sh she's gonna win that battle, and that's fine. We wouldn't trade Ollie. No, you might be your best. Can look at my little bit. If I changed his diaper, it was maybe three or four times. Okay, yeah. I said, look, if we're gonna do this, you know, they're it's fine, but you're gonna have to do that.
SPEAKER_00I don't listen, I've been in many situations, even in the role of grandparent, where like, oh, oh yeah, looks like it's time to see your mom. I mean, you just pass them on.
SPEAKER_01That's what I'm gonna do. That's me too. And and if mom isn't around, I'm gonna be like, whoa, you stink, go to grandma. Exactly. Like, don't you got a sibling somewhere? And Suze, please do that outside. I don't need that on the walls. Oh, come on. It's a bit much. I know it's gonna go inside.
SPEAKER_00Get it in your nose, you can't get it out.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Okay, so you could veto it because there could be a time where it it's just gonna have to happen. Yeah. But I I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna do it.
SPEAKER_00I'll say this. I know that you would never choose to do it, but you may have to.
SPEAKER_01I may have to. You may have to. Bleepable, yes. But I'm gonna avoid it at all circumstances.
SPEAKER_00Um at all costs. At all. Let's see. You know what? Let me tell you what I'm never gonna do again. I am never, ever, ever. I'm never gonna pull an all-nighter and then drive a car.
SPEAKER_01Actually, I can even All nighters are a younger man's game.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm not actually, I don't. We can we can forget about driving the car because the last time I did pull an all-nighter, I fell asleep on the freeway. Ooh. Yeah, very scary. I was a freshman year of college right before I started my freshman year. Um, and I was fine. Uh, just ran into the median and uh hit the light reflector pole with my mirror on my driver's side mirror, ripped it right off. Ugh. I mean, it could have been disastrous. So that was, but I'll just tell you that. Scared you straight up. Yeah, and I'm I'm never pulling an all-nighter. It is a young man's game.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's a younger man's game. So even throw out the fact that you shouldn't obviously drive after I'm never gonna stay up all night. No, no, no, no. I don't know if you've noticed, but there lately I've been worse. Maybe I have low tea. All I know. All I know is if you notice, like when we go out to dinner or um and we're all together, and it gets around 9:30, 10 o'clock. I kind of hit a wall. You hit your wall. I think it's a thing. I I think it's a thing for me, and it's not like I'm I'm like disinterested in conversation or not want to be with you guys. No, but I hit a wall, so I'm like, hmm. I and the only thing I want to do is get in my bed and watch Jeopardy. Okay, you are an old man.
SPEAKER_00That means me old. If that makes me old, fine.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. Poetry. Who is Shelf Silverstone? Exactly. We uh Susie and I here's this it does tell. We have been recording Jeopardy. You've been recording it? Yeah, put it on the D VR, and we just look forward every evening to sit down to an episode of. Jeopardy. Okay. And um it's so funny because apparently my sister and Big Uncle Jake. Yeah. They do the same things. Oh my goodness. And uh Jake's so funny, like he he'll hear the categories, which we're not gonna know. 20th or 19th century poetry. Jake says, easy. See, my books, books of from the 1800s. Easy. First of all, Jake's never read one poem. I guarantee he's never read a poem.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01That's why Susie and I always joke when it's poetry. Uh, who is Shell Silverstein? Who what is where the sidewalk ends?
SPEAKER_00That's it. That's all we know. If there was a category on there that was like uh combo males at McDonald's.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Easy. Easy. First of all, my grandfather, my grandpa and I, he loved Jeopardy. I remember watching it at his house. And you and Susie. So those are the only three people that I ever know that loved it. So I got a couple questions for you. Yeah. I actually think I would like it too because I love trivia games.
SPEAKER_01What are you waiting for? I don't know, but I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_00Jump on the old man bandwagon. I guess I need to start DVRing it because I don't know when it's even on. Okay, that just blew my mind. It's on every night. Like what time? 630. 630. 630. It would be my guess. Is it still back-to-back with Wheel of Fortune? Yeah. Okay. Do you remember when Wheel of Fortune would you'd actually, instead of winning the cash, you'd actually shop? You shop. You shop with your head in the picture. I'll take the porcelain dog for $500. It seems like other things you could buy with that $500, but that's the only thing left. What if you didn't like what was there? Um, but I'm gonna start watching Jeopardy. Let me ask you this question. We've got the and if there ever was a chance time to use this word, the incomparable. Alex Trebek. Yeah. Rest in peace, Alex. Yeah. What is rest in peace? What is rest in peace? But um we've got two hosts. Is it Mayan Balak and Ken Jennings?
SPEAKER_01Ken Jennings. Do you have a preference? Um it's funny you ask because my we've had that conversation with my parents and all the other people, all the people. Um I don't have a preference. I think they're both good. My mom thinks that Ken Jennings is a little uh rude to people. Like, oh was it my mom or my sister? They think that he he's like when people wager on their daily double like a thousand bucks, he's like, guess only a thousand. Oh yeah, I would like that. I don't I don't think he does that much, but he and the other guys that he would battled with, the the James Buholser or whatever they were, those dudes were next level. They were trying to get the highest dollar stuff, and when they found that daily double, they were doing a true daily double every time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they were doubling down every and daily double means they risk it all.
SPEAKER_01Uh all of it. Okay. And then so if somebody wagers just a little what in Ken's mind is not very much, he kind of gives them a little bit of sass. A little bit of shade. A little bit of shade. A little bit of like, okay, only 200. Wow. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't realize that better my mom to the point. Yeah, didn't realize we got such a dummy here playing, but whatever.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so no no all matters for me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, let don't do an old nighter in all matter. Um you got one? Yeah, I well, I've got a whole list of them. There's plenty of things I don't want to do ever again.
SPEAKER_00Um prefer not to be punched in the face again. Again, and I don't I've never been uh and don't get any ideas. I don't want anybody running up and punch me in the face because I've never been punched in the face, and I don't ever want to have to say again.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, I I think I told that on uh one of the Budge podcasts.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I think you yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I got punched in the face on a bus one time. As a missionary. Of course it did. You well, my adrenaline was gone. I didn't feel it. I really didn't know. Really? But then I threw hands too.
SPEAKER_00As the kids say, I remember you threw it, you threw down. I threw hands. Was it jaw or was it nose? Jaw.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00I feel like jaw.
SPEAKER_01Blindside punch, just boom. And I'm like, well, I just got hit in the face. And then I snapped and we went. We're well, okay. Um, but you know, that's probably given. Nobody really wants to be punched in the face. Um, this one's gonna be a little edgy. Okay. I I will I don't plan on ever hanging a Christmas light ever again. Oh. You look at my face. I am. For our listeners, I am stone serious on this. I know, but the thing is, is I like Christmas lights. I have I have I have no problem with I prefer that people, other people, hang Christmas lights. So they can enjoy them.
SPEAKER_00But let me tell you what I hear when you say. Say it again so I can say it. You're gonna call me a Grinch, aren't you? Kind of, but even worse. Go ahead. I prefer to never hang another Christmas light. Oh, I'm sorry. What I heard was my name is Dave Simmons, and I don't particularly care for the baby Jesus. No, that's not true. Sorry, folks. Sorry, folks.
SPEAKER_01I didn't say I don't like to look at the star of Bethlehem. Yes, I like that.
SPEAKER_00You but you don't like to hang them. No, it's a lot of work for what? You know, I mean Well, you know what, actually, I gotta I gotta pump the brakes a little bit on my righteous indignation. Okay. Because I haven't hung Christmas lights for a long time, but I I it's worth it to me to pay somebody to do it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and and I'm not quite there yet. Okay, I got you. But but look, I will drive around and look at them. Yeah, I love it. I love lights. I am not opposed to them. I just don't think it's worth my time and effort to put it.
SPEAKER_00Listen, I did it all the time growing up. I loved it. We talked about Sheriff Max on an earlier podcast. Um, he always had like a ton. He and Melissa, they were their house was the house to drive up to Grousewreck. They did a beautiful, a beautiful presentation. And I remember a couple of years, I think maybe later on in their lives, they hired me to come up and do it, and it was awesome. I loved it. Really?
SPEAKER_01Well, the problem I have, I've it's twofold. Susie likes them. Yeah. But she wants me to do it, and I'm like, I don't really want to do it. So last year, she she dragged an extension cord out to the trees, and she kind of I think she made Griff or Ollie. One of the kids had to go out with her and and they did three trees, I think. Okay. It looks good. I remember that. Let me tell you this right now. Okay, those are still in the trees. Uh oh no, it's October. Well, you know what? Just leave them. I well, the thing is, is I kept saying, hey, this is part of it. This is why I don't do it. Yes. I I I don't want to have to take them down. So the extension cord has been gone, obviously, but just the the there and the other, they're not like up in their pretty now. She tried to start pulling them down, but couldn't get them, so now they're wadded up in a ball, which is even worse. Still pouring, and they're just kind of they're just kind of wedged into the crooks of the tree because she didn't decide to she decided she wasn't gonna get them taken down. Well, look, that is what I'm saying. Yeah, it's a lot of work to get them up and down, so let's appreciate the work that everybody else does, but I'll do other things. Okay, okay, I'm gonna give you that.
SPEAKER_00I don't know what those things are gonna be like. Well, we're gonna have to follow up this podcast. I would do again.
SPEAKER_01That was phase one of my problem. This is phase two is I live in a cul-de-sac and I'm gonna I'm gonna throw right under the bus the duffins, the barfases, and the whipples are all putting lights on their house. They are, and it makes me look like the Grinch Grinch. I just want one of them to say, you know what? I'm standing in solidarity with Dave this year. No. Barfis, go ahead.
SPEAKER_00Duffins go ahead. Whipple, come on, man. No, I absolutely not. You and I know all three of those beautiful families, and if they stop, they're then I'm gonna shame him? I'm gonna shame them. First of all, do what Barfis does. Remember, he's got like that figure of a Grinch that looks like it's stealing lights off of the house, so it's only one strand. It's very clever. But he's gotta get the Grinch thing out and put it on the roof. And you know, I'm generally not a fan of this. Um, but I'm but but it's actually I shouldn't say that. I shouldn't say that because I've seen it done very, very well. In fact, I think maybe I think Whipple does this, I don't know. I'm what I'm going to allow for you is you can buy, it's almost like a projector that you put out in the yard, and you can actually make it so it shines, not like it's like a big menage of your house. It you can set it so it like just simply shines where a light would be, like on the eaves. Hmm, you should try it. Let's check into it. Or get those like like like the Stacy's, they got these Christmas lights that are on all year round. Like, and but you can't tell. It's not like Susie leaving them in a tree all year round.
SPEAKER_01But don't those kind of revert up into it. Yeah, you can't tell. Look, man, if I was to rebuild a house, yeah, you'd do it, and I could have those things like be like sucked up into the house during the year and then down for sure. Sure do it. But I'm not on board with, and again, folks, if you're one of these people, fine. Do what you want to do. But to have lights on for all the different holidays.
SPEAKER_00Oh no, no. I'm extra- I don't need lights on for Halloween. I'm a purist. It always should just be Christmas.
SPEAKER_01I agree. Just Christmas. 100%. And do it because I like to drive around and look at everybody's lights. Just don't expect me to do it. You know, if I was a good friend, I'd come up and put them on your house for you. You could if you want to. I'm not gonna like say you can't do it, but I'll feel dumb when you're out there doing it and I'll be inside sipping some hot cocoa. Maybe you could just watch it, or maybe you make coke. I hold the ladder for you. You're doing great up there. Thanks. Keep going, keep working on it. Here's one more for you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, please. Do you have another one though? Um, I've got just one more, and then I feel like yours are like yours are like legit. Mine are kind of silly. Um let me tell you one thing that I'm never going to do again, and I actually think you're gonna be on board with this. I am never ever going to participate in what is referred to as a hostess party. Folks, what a hostess party is Dave laughs because he was in attendance of this party. And this was all Susie's idea.
SPEAKER_01She was a little bit of a bully. She really was. She was not letting us get out of there without trying every single one of them.
SPEAKER_00Because we couldn't have any quitters. But basically, there were six of us. We all brought in um hostess snacks, and they were supposed to be childhood favorites. Childhood favorites, but like I brought six. They kind of were all my favorites, but still it got a little out of hand.
SPEAKER_01Like we we kept everybody brought in, and there were six, six of us, seven, eight. Yes. Because Strat and Kylie were both there.
SPEAKER_00And we had to all eat at least a taste. You had to try everything. I was so sick.
SPEAKER_01Those some of those are so gross. But how about those zingers? Those are bad. My tiger brother tells, yeah, I love those. The the yeah, they're not the raspberry zinger. Now that's sick. Those are gross. But I can't I thought you meant like the vanilla ones or the chocolate ones. Those are fine, but your gross red ones. They're delicious. Tiger that's a doorstop, man.
SPEAKER_00There's no other reason to have that besides a doorstop. But before we jump into yours, I'm just gonna say this. Um, I hands down, I mean, I'll answer this, but no thinking. Favorite hostess. Go. Twinkie. Oh, not bad. Yeah, I was pretty fast. Ding dong. Those are good too. Oh, I love them. I prefer them wrapped in tinfoil, but that's maybe this nostalgia. But you know, anyways, they taste it.
SPEAKER_01Ding dongs are good. That that waxy, that waxy chocolate. Yeah. That's that is nostalgic. But I I think I've said on a previous pod, I think I could eat I could eat a whole box of Twinkies if you've cooked. Yeah. They don't it's nothing. But it's not like something I should be doing. So yeah, I think I've said that before on that, but I could do it. Um I hope that the squeaking of my recliner chair isn't coming through too much on this stuff. I know.
SPEAKER_00Uh let me tell you what I'm gonna do before we do this again. I'm gonna get some WD-40 on that thing. You hear that? Yeah, I hear that. Is it coming through loud and clear? Oh, I've seen a little bit of waves on the it's hard to say. It's kind of fun now that I'm doing it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's like you're an old man and you're rock or watching Jeopardy. Um, let's go one more. Okay, go ahead. Years ago, let's what's the stinkiest thing you've ever smelled?
SPEAKER_00Um it's gonna be uh a toss-up between, I mean, there's things, but uh like like a pig or a mink farm.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah. Stink. I gotta stand up. My recliners, this little back of mine is. Um, yeah, those are stinky. Even the dump. Can you can you go to the dump? And you go to the dump like you like it.
SPEAKER_02I don't like it.
SPEAKER_00I think you enjoy it. I actually I do, but I go to the dump way more than I should. I don't know where I get all the stuff.
SPEAKER_01Well, you like going to the dump. I do, but it stinks, badly. Let me tell you one of the I don't know if I can say it's the stinkiest, but it is top three.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Years ago, we must we have a fridge slash freezer out in the garage. Okay, sure. And there uh the breaker must have tripped. We didn't even know. And this is in the heat of the summer. Oh no. And uh, so it would have been weeks, and all of a sudden we're like, what is that smell? And realized that we had had a bunch of meat in that freezer. And we didn't, and so one of us, I'm like, I think it's coming from the freezer, and then you go over there and you realize that it's not running and it's kind of warm. Oh no. Oh my goodness. I opened that that freezer and dry heaved immediately. You're like a waft, a waft of stinky rotten meat. It is that was so gross. So I don't ever want to open a fridge that has stinky rotten meat in it again. Well, there's no way I'm gonna buzz you on that one because no, I'm never doing that either. I well, I guess I didn't do it on purpose. But what could you do? You knew it was, I knew it was gross. We had to get it out. What did you do?
SPEAKER_00Well, did you like get like I took turns? Like a bandana?
SPEAKER_01Yep, covered our faces with something, and we took turns.
SPEAKER_00Pretend like you're robbing a stagecoat.
SPEAKER_01But then where do you where do you put it?
SPEAKER_00You put it in Whipple's dumpster.
SPEAKER_01If he's hanging lights this year, or Barfis is hanging lights this year, they might find some rotten meat in their garbage cans. Uh things I don't really care to do.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I've got a list here as well. There's a you know, and uh this will be fun. I think you mentioned this on the one of the other earlier podcasts. Drop a comment about things that you don't ever want to do again.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, let's get a conversation going and we can have some conversations about those on the podcast. Live next time on the podcast. Thanks again, folks, for listening to another episode of the Small Towns Podcast. We're pretty sure we've changed your life for the better. If not, well, we'll try again next time.