Small Towns Podcast
Small Towns Podcast
E 51 Travel. Shenanigans at 35,000 Feet.
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
The Boys are back! Dave and Jason, after several months on hiatus, are back! In this episode we discuss traveling. Cross country flights with no ability to crack a window prove to be quite challenging for Jason… and that is just the beginning… Dave would struggle too, as his acute smelling sense is known to be one of his super powers. Join us at 35,000 feet!
Welcome, millions upon millions, perhaps billions, of faithful podcast listeners. We are your hosts, Jason Kimber and Dave Stevens. We'll bring you along with us as we share life stories from our experiences living in small towns, or in Jason's case, an unincorporated community. That's true. Along with genius suggestions for solving world problems and a whole lot of laughs. This is the Small Towns Podcast. Welcome back to another episode of Small Towns Podcast. I am Jason Kimber along with, as always, Dave Simmons. You almost forgot my name there for a second. No, but you do remember, like, I don't, it's a while ago we were recording one, and you you opened up by saying, Hi, I'm Jason Kimber, along with Dave Simmons. And the funny thing is, I didn't even notice.
SPEAKER_01And then you started laughing. And I thought, what's the matter? We should have just kept it. Yeah, it should have. I bet there's people out there that don't really know us that well personally, and they're like, now which one's which? That would have totally messed up.
SPEAKER_00And it's it's interesting. Um you'll notice again, we we have the camera working, and I just double check everything is working with the uh with the one episode we did with ailments. Remember how we did the entire episode and thought we were recording, but we didn't have it. And then we had to do a confessional. There was a whole thing. There was a whole thing, but I think we're I think every all the things are working. I'm looking here at the screen, so I'm I'm happy about it.
SPEAKER_01Well, so to our friends out there who want to see our beautiful shining faces on uh the YouTubes, yeah, they're out there. And how do you find us on YouTube? Just go to your small towns podcast.
SPEAKER_00Small search small towns podcast, it'll pop right up. You'll see the cover art and everything, so it'll be familiar to you.
SPEAKER_01Okay, small towns, small towns podcast with Jason and Dave. Exactly. By the way, uh we mentioned last last podcast we did that we've partnered with Utah Public Radio. Yeah. And uh you can also find us through UPR.org. You just go right on there, and there's lots of cool content there from UPR. And then if you scroll down a little bit, you'll find our podcast there. And when you click it, it takes you to our website page for our podcast where you can see any episode you want to see. So you're dying to listen to one of the old ones.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. Which I'm sure people are. There's some dang good ones. We're grateful uh for the good people up at UPR. I mean, this is this is fun. This is fun. They've got great content. Um, Dave, I know we always uh to to those who have listened uh a long time. First of all, how are we looking on the uh on the camera? It feels like a little messy. I don't know. I mean, you've got your water bottle, which is fine.
SPEAKER_01I'm not saying we're doing this so we can keep it real. Yeah, this is legit real. Um, yep. I'm gonna pull up my sleeves just a little bit. We're gonna get right to this.
SPEAKER_00And we never even have um uh those of who've been listening for a while, they know that we don't even have um we we don't really necessarily have like a topic that we're gonna well sometimes we have a topic, but these things just kind of uh grow and and we're in the organic session or section of the grocery store. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01This is all happening, very natural. Like today, I want to talk a little bit about how it's not warm enough out there for me. Oh it is Mother Nature keeps sending some more s and more snow. Now I know everybody's like, we need the moisture. Great, we do. Yes, but there's a lot of moisture now.
SPEAKER_00There's in fact, I uh I think I heard on the news last night or this morning like we have now um surpassed any record that Utah ever had about water content. Like back in the early 80s, do you remember when we had so much water, terrible flooding everywhere? Yeah, we have surpassed the uh that water content.
SPEAKER_01So the scary thing now is hopefully it doesn't melt too fast.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, if it gets too warm too quickly, we're having problems.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna have to wear my floaties, my water wings.
SPEAKER_00River City trip. We called them water wings, did you? Uh water wings, yes. I do remember one time going to Crystal Hot Springs over the hill, and like they weren't like water wings. It was like you put it over top of your head and it was like a that's a mess. Yeah, that's a mess. That's a life preserver. No, no, no. That was not as crazy. I just had the water wings on it. Yeah, those are the in your bathtub, eating your Cheetos. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, all I know is March has come in like a lion and out like a jerk. I I I just I need I need a little bit of work. I need that vitamin, what is it? Vitamin D vitamin D. D. I need it. You need a little bit of sun. I mean, to our listener, what are people are viewing on YouTube? I'm like a little peacetime. You're a little pale.
SPEAKER_00A little pale paler than normal as a redhead. Exactly, which we we love, uh, we love you for it. But I agree with you. Like I went outside just a few moments ago. Again, it's March, it should feel springish, and we've got a couple inches of snow outside. It's just driving me crazy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. It's tried to melt, and then she dumps on us again. Absolutely. I don't know. I could just use the sunshine about now.
SPEAKER_00Mother Nature, she is she went well I mean, sometimes I just want to have a stern word with her. Little lady. Yeah, little lady. I mean, and speaking of that, this feels like kind of a somewhat enforced yet natural segue. Spring break is coming up. Uh we're gonna go on a little trip. I don't know if you're gonna go anywhere.
SPEAKER_01Well, I'm getting I'm getting the full court press put on me by Griffey. He wants to go find some place to play golf. He's got a personal goal in life. He could he wants to play golf in every state of the country. Oh, that's a fantastic goal. Well, I guess, but that's a that's good luck with that. But I mean and I think right now he's wanting me to finance some of that.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I'm sorry, I'm just thinking about that. Like, is there much golf happening? Like uh Oh, you can golf anywhere. Well, I mean, of course you can, right? Municipal courses everywhere, private courses everywhere.
SPEAKER_01I was doing some some uh Google Earth searching the other day, as one does. Yeah. And there is a a to me, I served an LDS mission in Bulgaria, which you wouldn't expect in Eastern Europe to be golf courses. But I searched it up, and there's two on the Black Sea coast above a little north of Varna, which is beautiful. Oh, I bet.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I would love to go try to do that. You want to come? I mean, yeah, sign me up. Easy, that was easy. I actually did a little bit of golfing when I went on my LDS mission to Melbourne, Australia. Yeah. Uh the only thing different there is beautiful and there were very nice courses, but we went to two public golf courses while I was there. And there's just kangaroos like all over the golf course. I would think that they would beat it up a little bit. Oh, they they really, really do. Like they're a pest. They're a pest, and this is like right in the middle of the city. It's almost like going to Yellowstone and just seeing the elk all over in your yard and stuff. And so, yeah, on the golf course, I mean the greens, of course, were nice, but like in the fairways, it was just like, you know, uh kangaroo poop and kangaroos laying all over the place. Yeah, they're in the way.
SPEAKER_01They're a menace. And they're a bit of a big thing. I mean, do they really box?
SPEAKER_00Well, they don't, I don't I yeah, I think they do, but like I'm gonna tell you, they'll punch you like they kind of get up on their kind of rear up on their tail, and like these claws come out, and I think they just open you right up from, you know. Yeah, don't so don't mess with don't mess with the kangaroos. I mean, I they kind of can flex a little bit. It's kind of a cool thing. Um I can kind of do that too for uh for our visitors or watchers.
SPEAKER_01We're on I don't know. This is how the this is how a kangaroo would do it if you watch it on YouTube, and then they flex.
SPEAKER_00They flex. Yeah, and then they rip your guts out and and uh go on. Well that turn that turned gruesome quickly. We turn south in a big hurry. Um but we do hope to get a little trip. I'm sorry, back to travel. We do hope to have a little bit of a trip going on for a spring break. And a lot of times we just go up to Oregon, the Oregon Coast. It's one of our favorite places as a family. But you're driving it. We are driving.
SPEAKER_01I look, if it's past Salt Lake, I'm out.
SPEAKER_00I I get the Jimmy legs, so I can't do it.
SPEAKER_01An hour and 10, an hour and 15, you are out. I don't really like to drive. There are people that just love a good road trip, and I I it's just it's not me. I I would like to say it is, but it's not. I would much rather get on an airplane, but there are times I'm kind of getting airplanes kind of annoy me too.
SPEAKER_00They they can, and interestingly enough, I mean, to stay true to the roots of this fantastic podcast as we talk about experiences of two guys growing up in small towns. I didn't even go on I I never set foot on an airplane until I was I was a freshman at Utah State. So I was 18 years old. I was close to that.
SPEAKER_01I think I think I senior year, I think. My buddies and I, after we graduated from high school, we went to Disneyland. Well, places for 18-year-olds to go.
SPEAKER_00No, but I that's the happiest place on earth. I love it. Yeah, we had a lot of fun. But my girls, I mean, they they have been on planes since they were babies, you know what I mean? So coming from a small town, it wasn't, you know, my mom, bless her heart. She didn't go on an airplane until she was well into her 50s. Really? Isn't that crazy? That is a cousin. And you know how I am with my cousins, I know them all. They're not first cousins, folks. They may not be first cousins. They might even be second cousins. Second cousins. They are removed more than once. I can think of one. She's never, she's uh she's in her 70s, she's never been on an airplane in her life. What? Small towns, buddy, small towns. I guess if you don't have anywhere to go.
SPEAKER_01I mean, and I you got 15 miles of dirt road to traverse in order to get anywhere to something page. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00And then to an airport. But I did have um my uncle. His it's funny, I I've only met him once in my life because he actually was married to my aunt before I was born, and then they got divorced.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00I've since met him later in life, but he actually had an airplane and he would fly out to Grouse Creek and and just land on the road. And there was a guy out there in Grouse Creek, he actually did the telephone service, his name was Art Brothers. He had his own airplane, and he would actually land on the county road right in front of our house. Can you just do that? Like if I had let's say I had an airplane.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, obviously I'd have to fly out of like Lucash County Airport.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but there are places like they've got airplanes. My father-in-law had one. Um I remember we went camping one time up in uh up in Idaho. They've got these grass, they it's a grass runway, but it's just it's just a it's just like a uh a runway that's covered in grass. I mean, it's not just a catchy name. So if you've got the right type of plane with uh mainly like the tires and whatnot, you can just land on grass, you can land on a dirt road, as long as it's smooth, not a problem. All right, brothers, he'd land that right in front of our house, and then he would drive his airplane up the county road, three and a half miles, to where he had a little house. And you'd see him come and you just kind of pull off to the side. Oh, that would make sense. You don't want to get clipped by one of those wings. But but I I uh it's funny. I've had some interesting one thing that I love about life is that life gives you experiences, and and sometimes experiences are less than uh stellar. Yeah. However, so often I will think to myself, Dave, as case in point, these stories I want to talk about next, while they're happening, I'll think to myself, I can't believe this is happening to me, but this is gonna make a great story.
SPEAKER_01That's a great attitude to have. Yeah. When life gives you lemon, you make lemonade. Yeah. Well, I've tried to do that a few times in my life, and it hasn't turned out to be lemonade. But yeah, I mean, there's times where on an airplane it's just not ideal. And quite frankly, I got a real I got a nose that I smell less. Yes, yeah. I smell stuff that other people don't smell.
SPEAKER_00And you can't escape it. You can't escape on an airplane. And if you did, and you have lots of superpowers, I have no doubt, but sense of smell for sure. That's my superpower. Yeah, that's you.
SPEAKER_01Did you have a bad one?
SPEAKER_00Oh, I did. In fact, uh, it was over Thanksgiving, so obviously been a few months ago now. But Heather and I and the girls, we decided to take a trip out to Tampa, Florida. Florida. Beautiful. Uh, I'd only been there once before. First of all, they've got, I'm sorry, tangents, they've got alligators everywhere. There was an alligator in my sister-in-law's, like in her in her cul-de-sac. Just wandering around? Yeah, just walking up the street. Well, that's a menace. There's a pumpkin. That's a pest. Without question. They got this Facebook group that says in the neighborhood that says, hey, if the alligator's not bothering you, don't freak out. Don't call, you know, DWR or whatever they call it back there. Well, I would be like it would be bothering me if it was walking, it was just walking up the street. Well, who knows if they're gonna get in your bathtub? They they could meet that bathtub. Yeah, yeah, you do. And uh, I mean, this one, this alligator in question, I I think it was the same alligator, ate uh the neighbor's dog. Just ate him? Well, yeah, I think it ate him. It bit him, anyways. I think it ate him. He ate the alligator. I think he ate. I think he, you know, we've seen Crocodile Dundee, probably snapped a little puppy and like pulled him under for the death roll. Oh yeah. I think that's what it says in Crocodile Dundee. Well, that's sad. It is sad. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be such a downer. Sorry, this is so horrible. Um, but on this, let's get back to this plane ride. We flew out of Florida. I'm sorry, we flew out of Provo. Okay. A nice cheap flight to uh Tampa.
SPEAKER_01I'm sorry, to all of our fletch lovers out there, when you said Provo, do you remember he goes Spain? And then no, Utah. Oh, right. So if you ever say Provo, I might say Spain next. Okay. Utah. Provo, Utah, Utah County.
SPEAKER_00I don't even know if they have a Provo Spain. Anyways. We almost missed our flight for crying out loud because it was just a crazy day. But it's one of those um flights that leaves, let's see, we've we left on a I think we left on a Sunday and come back on a Saturday. It doesn't matter either way, but it's it's just a set run. Right. That's what they do.
SPEAKER_01That's what they do. And they they try to keep the cost as low as possible for you because they're just doing it those two days.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. And because of that, we didn't get to pick our seats, so there were four of us. However, with when you're traveling with kids, I think most airlines, if they see that there's kids under 18, they generally put those with at least one of the adults. You would hope so. And which they did. Okay. And I actually did. You have I paid a little extra, but I wanted a little extra leg room, so I got um the front row. You're well, you're a big guy. Yeah, I'm a big guy. I'm a telling guy, I'm in 6'4. You know what I mean? Yeah with the afro? Yeah, dude, six and a half. Yeah. Some pins. Yeah. I I I did pay a little extra to get on the front row, but again, we're not talking first class here. I mean, this is just front row. There is no first class. There is no first class. I have a little bit of legroom. I happen to be sitting next to two, what I discovered later, just two brothers. They were students, one going to uh uh different universities there in Utah County, but they were one aisle, one window. And you would have assumed I understand that concept. Sometimes you do that, so hope nobody will sit in between you. And then if somebody comes up, you're like, oh yeah, well, I'll just move over. I said about my brother. I do it at the movies all the time. Yeah, why not?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, all the time. I'm gonna try to pick one, a couple away from somebody else, so maybe they don't, or one away from somebody else. Give myself a little because you prefer a buffer.
SPEAKER_00I need a buffer. Even when we go to the movies with our buddies, you won't sit next to anybody. No, why would I sit right next to you when there's a seat that we have extra? I am three feet away. We can still communicate, okay? Fine, I agree to disagree.
SPEAKER_01Okay, that's fine. Anyways, but the brothers, the brothers, in my mind, should have said, Well, now that all three of us are here, do you want to switch seats and I'll sit by my brother?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I would have assumed that that would have been the natural I didn't feel like I could bring up. Most people would assume as much. But this was the least of my worries.
SPEAKER_01Well, what I would have probably done if I was you said, hey, do you want to sit by your brother? And if he's at that point and says, nah, I'll just stay right here. I should've. That's okay.
SPEAKER_00I should have.
SPEAKER_01But at least you offered and you tried to get out of the situation.
SPEAKER_00But it didn't really matter in this scenario where I sat, because I'm assuming what happened next affected not only me, but several roles around. There was no buffer. There was no buffer. The buffer was big. So one of them, I don't know which one, must have had a rough breakfast. Exactly. That's exactly. I didn't hear it?
SPEAKER_01Ex-bened exp.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. I didn't hear anything. I think the term for this is SBD silent but deadly. And I was smelling something, Dave. There's nowhere to go. There's nowhere to go. You can't crack a window on an airplane. No, you can't. First of all, you you you grab the little fan that's blowing and you blow that right in your face. That helps a little bit. And then I've actually um developed a couple, not developed, I'm sure everybody does this, a couple of of best practices if you're into this. So so you take your hand and uh you you put it, you just put it over your your nose or mouth kind of like this. Yeah. Kind of like you're thinking, but like I'd rather smell the inside of my hand than what I was smelling coming out of the inside of them. What if okay, go ahead. So I did that for a little while and it didn't work. It didn't work. I was trying to be nice. It was it was getting through your hand. It was pungent, and it was, it was like, yeah, you've seen those scary movies, like kind of the mist rolling in. I mean, it was just, I mean, there was nothing I couldn't the mist rolling in. So like this. And I didn't know what to do because I was this close. I'm not quite as sensitive to you about smells, but but I'm not far off. I couldn't take it anymore, Dave, and I'll tell you exactly what I did. Obviously, you two people are gonna see this, so just describe what I'm doing when I do it. I couldn't take it anymore. I was like this. He has raised his t-shirt up over his nose. Over like as if as if I'm now a bank robber. And this movie, but you can't hide that anymore. Like, obviously, now the message that I'm sending to everybody who was in my in my purview, some stinks. Stop it. Stop it. It's not me. Yeah, excuse me.
SPEAKER_01And the beauty about you doing that, yeah, is you're making it so everybody around you realizes that well, it wasn't that guy. No.
SPEAKER_00Unless you're reverse psychology. Exactly, because there's I think there's a couple phrases. Uh a skunk smells his own hole first. Whoever dealt it sm if you smell it, you if you smelled it, you dealt it? Alright, there's others. Whoever smelt the delta, yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01But it was the smeller's the feller.
SPEAKER_00And I'm gonna say it was awful.
SPEAKER_01I mean it was awful. It's gotta be bad. Like, I don't know if even if it stunk that bad, if I would put my shirt over my nose. You wouldn't have done it? I don't think I could have done it. You couldn't have done it. It feels it feels it's brazen.
SPEAKER_00Dave, I I had to do it.
SPEAKER_01Unless you were unless gag reflexes had been induced.
SPEAKER_00Well, you want to know the only thing that would have made that situation worse? Me throwing up all over the first row.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I mean, how do you think that smells? Well, I've thrown up from a smell in my life. Well, uh I mean, just I you were there. Oh, you were you were no, you were right there though, at the point of puke. Yes. I that's where I was, yes. So the only recourse at that point was to pull your shirt above your nose.
SPEAKER_00Yeah now, don't you think that if if you were the individual the perpetrator so embarrassed, don't you think you would stop? Or go to the little restroom. Yeah, why not? Just hang out in there. Now speaking of that, I did go to the restroom.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_00Just just to just I mean, I had to go. Just for some reprieve. So three-hour flight, I can't crack the window. I actually have to go to the bathroom. And it's obviously right in front of me. So I uh this was such an eventful flight, and let's I can't even wait to talk about the return. But um, so I stand up, I go into the bathroom, and again, my seat is just right next to the bathroom, right on the front of the plane. And first of all, I mean, airport, I mean, airplane bathrooms are so tiny, but that's fine. You can't move around in there. I'm not gonna like take do a jig. In fact, I'm not gonna take my iPad in there and you know scroll through my social media. I mean, it's just get in, get out. So I go in there, I come out, and I see there is somebody else waiting for the bathroom, which is somewhat normal, but they have chosen to sit in my seat while they wait. But Dave, the problem I find that weird too, by the way. Why wouldn't he just stay standing? I don't know. You know, standing by the door, like that's what most people do. So he's sitting in my seat, but huh, problem. Had my headphones around my neck, but my iPad was still in my seat. This guy is sitting on my iPad.
SPEAKER_01You you got two Christmas hams on that on that iPad.
SPEAKER_00Oh, and it like like his like like his bum juices and grease, and I mean I I mean you know. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. Don't you think when you s first sat down, you'd be like, oh, oh, oh, hey. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sitting on something's iPad. That wasn't the cushion he's filled. Yes, exactly. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm I'm sitting on somebody's iPad. I will now stand up. No, he he just owned it and he just sat through the entire time. Thank you so I wasn't in there very long. Funny thing about this story, he stands up. There was no con there was no conversation. He just stood up. I picked up my w iPad that was now warmer than it needed to be. It's overheated, it says iPad cannot turn on. He goes back, sits down, has a funny conversation with his wife. I assume this is you won't believe it. I just sat on somebody's iPad. Only reason that I know that is he was sitting right uh behind Heather and the girls. And so she knew that your iPad had been sat on.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so it was so gross. That is very gross. So the so so to sum up here, yeah, you're sitting between two. Didn't you one time tell me they were big fellas? They were big guys, big guys like me. So they were trying to get the space just like you were trying to get the space. But now what we've got here is the uh the three pigs and and the invi and the invisible big bad wolf.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Just cut it. He was huffing and puffing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so we got three big fellas. Yeah, so bad.
SPEAKER_00Were did they at least leave their shoes on? No. Oh no. No. First of all, I don't know. You see all these ads from yesteryear about when you would fly, you would travel somewhere, you dressed up, right? Now I don't I'm not saying you gotta go on a plane in your suit. I go comfortable, but I'm not I I mean, you see all kinds you see pajamas on airplanes these days.
SPEAKER_01No, it's uh it's exercise clothes. People act like they're gonna be doing some sort of Zumba class on the plane. Look, you're just sitting there. So, I mean, I don't know. Just f to each their own. It's fine. But I don't need you to take your shoes and socks off.
SPEAKER_00They didn't take their socks off, but they did take their shoes off, which is just I mean, it's it's gross.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And maybe that was some of the the the odorous, oh odiferous that I was taking in. I mean, because it seemed to not go away. Is odiferous a word? If it's not, it should be Yeah, we'll we'll make it one. Uh Jan, would you? Yeah, Jan Jar, I looked that up for you. Um sorry, I'm talking too much about this flight. Dave, I kid you not. I mean, I think it's pretty understandable because it was over a holiday and it's going from Provo to Tampa and then Tampa to Provo the you know, Saturday to Sunday. It's the same flight. We were on it, and I board the plane in Tampa the following Sunday to come home. I go to get on the plane and and I got the same spot because I I picked it, right? So they paid a little extra, have a little legroom. Had to be middle seat. Who do you think? Same two. Same two dudes. Same two dudes. But their antics were not yet over, my friend. Their antics were not yet over. Now, I had made some conversation with them along the way. I mean, I'm sure this probably, you know, again, putting my broke the ice or at least. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I'm putting my my face uh in my shirt like that to uh talk about the smell. Is it possible it wasn't them?
SPEAKER_01Could it have been coming from behind you?
SPEAKER_00Don't don't you think I I mean I'm gonna say no because I feel like maybe they would have done the same thing or we would have talked about it. They could have turned to me and get, oh my gosh, what is that? I mean, I I I don't think I'm not gonna I'm not gonna.
SPEAKER_01You almost need to make good enough friends with them so you can look at them and say, Hey, was that you? Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00Or stop cracking them off. Stop cracking them off. Well, you just think when the story can't get any funnier slash grosser. I'm not a chatter though, on a on the airplane. I mean, I talk a lot, but on the airplane I usually sit down, put my headphones on, and I usually watch my movie, whatever I'm doing. Okay. Your programs. My programs. So I'm doing that. I'm watching my programs, and it's um fine. All of a sudden, and they've both got headphones on. I see the one brother to my right on the aisle try to get his brother's attention on the window. And so he's kind of like, he's got a sleeve of donuts. He's kind of waving them at him. Like, hey, you want some? Hey, yeah, get your attention, here you go. He's like, Oh yeah, so he so he cracks up with a sleeve of donuts, not just any donuts, Dave. White powdered donuts. Okay. Now, the only thing that would make these donuts fent even better is if they had jelly and scrubs. Love that scrubs. Side note. But this was like the small sleeve of are there's six or eight donuts in one of those sleeves? Not enough. Whatever there is, there isn't a lot of it. It's not enough. Well, on on this trip, there was plenty, because then the brother proceeds to share with his brother this pack of donuts. So he's reaching across to you. Right across me. Take one. Well, I could have, I didn't need to take one, I could have just licked the powder that had dripped onto my lap. So now you're wearing these powdered donuts. No, I'm wearing because you can't open up a powdered donut without it going everywhere. No, it can't be. They were sharing these powdered donuts across me. Across me.
SPEAKER_01I felt next level. That did that is next level. You don't need that. I don't either. That was quite a chore.
SPEAKER_00Hopefully, that Thanksgiving break was fantastic. Actually, it was. It was so good. Good. I mean, Florida, it was fantastic. I did just kind of lay, we hung out by the pool. I didn't see the alligator in question in person in person. But uh a couple weeks ago, um, my niece live, that's her parents live back there. She saw the alligator right next to their pool. Really? Right, and she took a picture of it. So I'm gonna put it on the already.
SPEAKER_01It was hard on the streets, but there's other there's other things.
SPEAKER_00And the and the alligator that she saw, no way, this is the alligator that ate the dog because it was just kind of a tiny alligator. But I think it would bit you would still hurt. Yeah, I would think so too. I would think so.
SPEAKER_01Um there was you mentioned you mentioned smelling your own hands. Yeah, well, what would it take for you to smell another person's hands? I mean, because like if I said, Jason, smell my hands.
SPEAKER_00No, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. You wouldn't? No. But I do remember one time growing up. I don't think I want to smell anybody's hands either.
SPEAKER_01You don't know where it's been. But but yeah, we do this because we don't want to smell other stinky things. So now look. This smells way better. I'm my hands don't smell too bad. You want to smell?
unknownThat's funny.
SPEAKER_01I don't think I want to smell anybody else's hands either.
SPEAKER_00In what only can be described as a teaching moment when I was probably a teenager. So funny. I was working with my dad out in the shop. He is a mechanic, was a heavy equipment operator, but also a great mechanic, kind of the team mechanic. And he says, in an effort to teach me how to tell a difference between good gas and bad gas. Like it may be a gas that sat in the fuel.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, fuel. Okay, so we've already talked about the bad gas.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you just spot now. We're just talking about fuel. Okay, fuel. So maybe fuel that has sat in a gas can over this over the winter, and so it's not good, you shouldn't put it in your lawnmower or your motorcycle or whatever. Okay. So I says, Well, then how can you tell? It looks the same. And he sticks his finger in this gas, he says, and he says to me, He says, Jason, don't he's like, I'm not trying to be gross, but smell my finger. And I did, and you can tell. You can tell? You can tell, yeah. Gap gas. Because I need to smell that. Yeah. But the problem is now it's on your finger, and it's like, so I think you're gonna. And you caused at least smelling. Yeah, like I'm like, why don't you just like I I think Dad should have just maybe passed the gas can over to him. Let me smell that. But he says, he'll smell my finger. He's like, but don't. He's like, I'm not being gross, just smell my finger. Hey. Teaching moment. The more you know.
SPEAKER_01I would like to know, I need to know the smell difference though. I mean, do you immediately know?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I it just I mean, you you can picture in your mind what gas smells like. Yep, got it. It just smelled off. I I mean, I'm my vocabulary will fail me. Not not rancid or sour, but just off.
SPEAKER_01It's not right.
SPEAKER_00It's just different.
SPEAKER_01I mean, because I don't think there's one person out there that has put gasoline in their car, right? Accidentally got a little on their fingers and haven't smelled it. Oh yeah. Well, you you you you get it. Did I really did I really get it on my fingers? I mean, you were always and you go back twice and three times. Nobody smells it once and thinks, yeah, it's on there. It's always more than once.
SPEAKER_00It's always more than once. It's it's akin to people saying, Oh, this stinks so bad, smell it. Smell it. I don't want to smell it. Why would I smell it?
SPEAKER_01Why would I smell that? Yeah, that makes no sense. Um so safe to say if I ever ask you to smell my hands, you're not gonna smell my hands.
SPEAKER_00I don't think so.
SPEAKER_01There, they're would you smell mine before other people?
SPEAKER_00For sure. I mean, because I know you. Thank you. And if you were to come out of the bathroom and say, that is some good smoke soap soap in there.
SPEAKER_01I'd smell. You'd smell my hands? You just kind of give me a maybe waft it under my nose. Something like this. Well, I'm most of the time I'm gonna trust that somebody. I mean, I'm not gonna say, Oh, let me smell your hands then. That doesn't make any sense.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna trust you. But I have come out of a bathroom and I've said to her, Oh, that is some good smoke. So I can't speak. That is some good soap. Give that a whiff. To your wife. To my wife. She might do it. Susie might do it. Yeah. Why?
SPEAKER_01But I don't know. The longer the older, the more we're longer we're married, nah. She's done. No. But she's kind of done smelling my house.
SPEAKER_00It's not like I even give her an option. I just like here.
SPEAKER_01Hey, check this. Yeah, check this out. Have you ever had somebody say these words to you? You look like a guy who. Because at that point, you better be all in. Yeah, you better be all in. And you better be very. You better know what you're gonna say next is a big deal. You look like a guy who doesn't mind smelling another man's hands. Okay. I don't know what that looks like. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what that looks like.
SPEAKER_00You can in your mind's eye, it's not me. Um, I I have said to an individual, and and and the same could be said of me, uh, that guy looks like a guy who knows his way around a hamburger.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you look like a guy who knows your way around a hamburger. Yeah. Not very nice.
SPEAKER_00Not very nice. Meaning it's probably like you're like big guy.
SPEAKER_01I feel I feel like most of the time you start a sentence with you look like a guy who it's not gonna be the kindest.
SPEAKER_00It's akin to your self-help workshop of you know what your problem is.
SPEAKER_01You know what your problem is? You look like a guy who probably doesn't stretch out much. Oh. You look like a guy who isn't gonna go jog a couple miles right now. You look like a guy who knows his way around the buffet. I but yeah, I had somebody one time start a sentence with you look like a guy who, and I'm like, well, what are you gonna say?
SPEAKER_00What are you gonna say? Did he did he follow up or did you did you did that stop him? I think maybe we were joking around at the time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But you better be joking around if you're gonna start a sentence with you look like a guy who or or it better be like a could you use that in a nice way? You look like a guy who's just a real good to his wife. It could come off as sarcastic. So, yeah, you gotta be careful. You gotta be careful.
SPEAKER_01Um, we're getting there on this podcast as far as time, but I have one more question for you. Yeah, please. This was this was probably a month ago or two that you uttered these words. Okay. My delicate time. What you said something about your delicate time. I did. Yeah, and I need to understand a little better about what is a delicate time for a grown man.
SPEAKER_00Well, I need to know a little bit more context because do you was it did I say something like, was I referring to my delicates? Meaning like, you know, my life.
SPEAKER_01No, but it was a time, it was a time of the day or a time. It's my delicate. Yeah, this is my delicate time. I don't know that a man should have any delicate time, but I'm curious to know when your delicate time is. Possibly. And what happens during delicate time.
SPEAKER_00Maybe nothing happens in my delicate time. I've I was a math. I woke up first thing in the morning and I don't want to really talk to anybody until I have had. Okay, I can take that as a man's.
SPEAKER_01You gotta be delicate around you.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's it.
SPEAKER_01The other people need to be delicate around you. Like, don't talk to me. For well, for me, it's before double digits. If it's before 10 o'clock, I might not be as peppy. So that would be referred to as your delicate time. My delicate time. I don't know. But I don't know if it's my delicate time, it should be other people's delicate time. Yeah. While whilst trying to dis have a conversation with me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't know. Be delicate. Be delicate. Dave is still a little salty before 10 a.m. I just don't think that um for some reason delicate seems almost a little too intimate. It does. You know what I mean? You said the word delicate that was my delicate time. I am not gonna, I I don't know. Next time I want you, I appreciate you keeping track, but next time I need I need some context.
SPEAKER_01Well, next time you say it was my delicate time.
SPEAKER_00I'll go whoa whoa whoa. So what do we mean about delicate time? Like that time I said potato with a B. Yeah, with a B. And you but you called me on it. Well, you said it twice. I did.
SPEAKER_01Like I said, a good friend will let it slide once, a better friend won't let it slide twice.
SPEAKER_00Do you know how hard it is for me? No, that's a little bit dramatic. I have to really concentrate when I say the word potato. So you don't say potato? I just want to throw the B in there. We have some potatoes and gravy. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01It's like you're three years old. Can I have some potatoes and gravy? I don't know why. Like it's so horrible, but I'm getting better. Um well, next time you have delicate time, okay. I'll like a text or something. Maybe I'll call you. Yeah, I will. I would like a delicate time update next time.
SPEAKER_00I'm not saying that we have to wrap this up, but I it just it's front of my mind again, because it's still fresh, it's still new. Big shout out to UPR.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. As we should. UPR.org. Um, go check out the website. You can find our podcast on there, and uh a lot of other great content at UPR.org. We appreciate our our uh our partnership with them.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, now uh oh, I'm sorry. You said that would be like a nice, easy way to hit the button. You should have hit the button, but I couldn't, because now I'm still cut up on delicate time. Um here's a great country western artist by the name of Conway Twitty. Okay. First of all, it's not his real name. Well, but it should be. Who names their kid? Well, hey, our last name's Twitty. Let's go Conway. I just learned this the other day. I love Conway Twitty, but I just I just learned that that wasn't his real name. I think there's a lot of people out there that's gonna be.
SPEAKER_01It's a stage name. I don't think the kid, I don't think they said, well, we're gonna name him Prince. Yeah, except for the Actually, there are support ones out there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Or, well, we're gonna go share. Last name? None. None.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I I would this could be probably another podcast, but I'd like to know what your stage name would be. Oh boy. Can I have some time to think about it? But if you were like a W, like if you were like a wrestler, maybe it'd be kind of like the Well, it's not the cinnamon bear.
SPEAKER_01I can tell you that much. I call games on the radio with Nick, Nick Zollinger, and he wants to he he this is true. He wanted, he wanted a nickname. Yeah. Like, because there's another guy in town for whatever reason they call him the hurricane.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And just is like And Nick's like, well, I want to, I wanna, I want a nickname. I'm like, well, what do you want? He goes, I don't know, let me think about it. Comes back in the next game. I want to be the patriot.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay, fine. I'll call you the patriot. I've heard you say you refer to him on the air, the patriot. The patriot names Ollinger. And so, you know, we let it. He goes, You need one. I'm like, I don't want one. You don't want one. I don't need one.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01If you are, if anything, you can call me the conductor because I'm just trying to keep this train on the rails.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and it's not easy. And it's not easy.
SPEAKER_01And then he said, How about the cinnamon bear? No. Next thing you know, I'm at ball games. People are yelling out, hey cinnamon bear. That's not it.
SPEAKER_00We're not going with that. What about like what about like the like the ginger avenger? No, I don't like that one either.
SPEAKER_01No, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I just I don't have to have one. You don't have to have one, but but that's actually more of like a nickname for like wrestling. But if you did have a stage name that you would pick, like if you were gonna like, you know, maybe that music career starts to take off.
SPEAKER_01Well, have you heard of like Chance the Rapper? Yeah. Megan the Stallion. Oh. Why can't I be just Dave the Dad?
SPEAKER_00What about Dave the Simmons? How about Dave the Friend? Dave the Friend. Robert the Bruce from the great movie and historical character uh uh oh, what's that movie? Uh Ray Fart, yeah. Yeah. Robert the Bruce. Dave the man's best friend. I got a good buddy, his name, and uh we obviously have discussed we throw names out all the time. His name is Bob, and his last name is John, so sometimes I call him Bob the John. Oh, that's just kind of rude though. Well, I mean, not like the John, it's like Robert the John, Bob the John. It's fine. He likes it. Uh Dave the Sun.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we'll work on that, but I'd like to be just Dave the. I told my kids I'm Dave the Dad.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I Dave the Dad, and uh all of a sudden I'm like, why were we talking about this? But it was about back to Conway Twitty and back to Delicate Time. He's got a great song that's called Now It's Goodbye Time. It's a very tender song. Well, I think it might be about like Maybe that's his maybe that is his It's Goodbye Time.
SPEAKER_01And that's his delicate time. You have delicate time. I think it's just when you're folding laundry and it happens to be your delicate. Thanks again, folks, for listening to another episode of the Small Towns Podcast. We're pretty sure we've changed your life for the better. If not, well, we'll try again next time.